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bin4christ

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guys, was talking to my dad on msn just now, and he was grumbling a lot about my wanting so much to get an electric guitar. he doesnt play btw.

in the middle of the conversation, he was talking about things like, i should spend more on prioritised stuff like education, school books, etc. n then he told me about how much have been spent on my tuition. it's a lot of money, i cant deny. and fair enough, i said i'll save up for the guitar myself.
but i also added this, and it's also the main point why i'm posting this thread:

"robin says:
girls can buy all their clothes, shoes, handbags n shit
robin says:
which some they're probably gonna use only once n then let it go to the deep ends of their closets, nvr to be seen again until they clear their closet, n throw them away
robin says:
whereas musicians ask for instruments, altho sometimes more an expensive investment, it's gonna last them a lifetime
robin says:
even if it doesnt serve him/her tt long, it can still be sold for some money
robin says:
seriously, what i think is that everyone in this hell of a 'world' is biased against musicians
robin says:
n that is very very f*cked up!"


n then he added on saying that nobody is against musicians, and i replied this:
"i disagree
robin says:
GREATLY disagree
robin says:
if tt line is true
DANNY says:
you mean I dont like muisc?
robin says:
then no parent will be complaining when their kids wanna buy msuic instruments
robin says:
no. not u
robin says:
but almost every non-playing person in this world
robin says:
n if that line is true
robin says:
noone will be asking music shops y the sell 'woods n metal strips' at such a high price
DANNY says:
we bought you the guitar but you want another 1,that's what I disagree as the guitar is just for fun, and you keep thinking that you will be a great player?
robin says:
n noone will be telling music-players that they're stupid to spend so much money on pieces of 'woods with metal strips fitted on', 'speakerboxes', etc"

like, dont u feel the same way man? it's real fucked up how sometimes ppl label guitars as things useless but sold for big money, n yet material girls n ladies spend as much or even more than we do on materialistic stuff like clothes, handbags, etc, and sometimes parents dont even mind buying them for their girls.

it's not that i hate my dad or my parents. they love me- i know that, n i love them too. i'm juz using the above as an example to give a clearer picture of what i'm trying to say here.(btw, danny= my dad, robin= me)

n regarding 'materialistic ladies', i meant no sexist remarks, not at all. not all girls r like that, n even those who are, i also dont have any problems against since being materialistic is the nature of some (girls n guys). juz used as an example.
 
Thats quite an eye opener there.

I wouldn't speak to my dad like that, if i did back when I was much younger, i would be expecting a thrashing, of which I am glad he never spared me the rod, and if I spoke to him like that now, I would never be able to live with the disappointment that would be on his face.

I assure you, almost every parent out there, would be glad to purchase a guitar for their kid, if their kid shows them the following things:
1) finish what is important in their lives (at the moment) and do it well.
2) shows them that they can handle the guitar well

Its always one of the above, or both, and of course, its subject to cash availibility and other misc things.

Note: I don't know you personally, neither do I know how your life at home is. Neither would I want to have your life issues on a public forum. I'm looking at the PoV that your parent, having gone thru life to a greater extent, would know what is best for you. You can disagree. I only speak from my experience where my "wants" were rejected by my parents, I was upset and stuff, but years on, I look back and realise the goodness and wisdom in those acts.

bin4christ, I see you have a very important person's name in your nick. I suggest you sit back and think thru your point of views very carefully.
 
Hello bin4christ,

It was a little upsetting reading through your post and the conversation between you and your dad. You would have to understand alot others are going through the same thing. Here's a brief life story about myself which I hardly tell anybody around me.

Here it goes...

I was brought up in a conservative family where "safety" is the primary concern. "Safety" not in the form of physical safety but rather, it's the concept of being "safe from trouble and risks" by just holding on to a regular desk job that pays you a fixed amount of money in an office environment. Why worry so much? Why take the risks? Why bother to dream that anyone could become the next richest person to Playboy's Magazine owner? (That's the concept of my parents - typically of the older generation)

From young, I was disallowed from joining the church band. (My family is buddhist and I was the only Christian since 5 years old) My uncle's family (the uncle I mentioned - pianist in Singapore Cricket Club for 13 years) offered to teach me for free numerous times, because through that school years of classical exposure, to them - I was good enough to skip all first four grades and hop straight into Grade 5. The offer was turned down numerously over those years, because my parents didn't like the idea of me engaging too much with my uncle's family, who are staunch Christian.

I wasn't really allowed to do music very much, the moment I tune up the volume, someone will come banging on my doors screaming at me to shut the damn speakers down. That was the time I ventured out into clubs - tea dance at younger age, progressing to the clubscene proper in my poly days, and that's where I got into music for once. Learning to spin, trying to make sense of it.

My parents are not exactly "modern parents" to begin with. Stereotypical, gossipy, egoistic, you name it they have it. (Although yes, I know they love me) They did set an example for me, that is I should never follow in their footsteps. It was after years of endurance, shutting myself in my room 23 out of 24 hours, doing my own stuffs with my door locked.



What's my point? It's simple! Understand where your parents are coming from. This is because they want a "secured" means of earning income and to many parents, making money out of music doesn't go down well with them. More often than none, they will probably ask you back, how much are you going to earn from your music?

All these years as a "rebel" taught me one thing. If I feel that my family is not making sense to me, keep quiet and endure. When I'm older, they can't stop me anymore. It's hard to keep quiet because of my fury temper, but I sat down and asked myself, why bother to argue with them? We know they are not going to accept our reasons and our passion, there is really no point in trying to force our ideals into them, expecting them to accept it; just like how we wouldn't want them to force certain beliefs into us.

Or the other approach you could do to keep quiet is, why bother to explain since they wouldn't understand? I can try once, twice, thrice... if they still don't get the idea, so be it. I will just keep quiet and continue with whatever I wish to do. Trust me, it is pointless for you to explain sometimes.

If anyone thinks parents don't love music as much as we do, then that person is wrong. Imagine in olden days where they crave over "Zhang Xiu Qing", "Teresa Teng", "Fei Yu Qing" etc etc... are they not equally crazy over their music? It's only a matter of a generation gap, that our kind of music is unacceptable to them. Especially so when modern day music preaches alot of violence and sex and drugs, it doesn't make any more sense at all to them. Their kind of music is about how two lovers meet over the pondside and playing with each other running around palm-trees. If you sit down to think about this, you should not be too worried about your parents not loving music.

One of the prominent obstacle faced in modern days music is rejection of early exposure. Now you start to think about how the govt try to kick-start schools into "talent-scouting agencies". Preaching anything from discovering students' talent to setting up of specialised schools like Singapore Sports School. In my days and even older, insisting to do music is seen a form of rebellious act against parents because the general parenting idea is to be "safe". Ensure my children to get a high education and probably be a part of the board of directors in some super duper MNC.

What's lacking is the understanding of "passion". I have done alot of things over the years to keep my parents satisfied, studying Mechatronics Eng just because they think it's good for me as a guy, hoping I continue with my govt job because of fat bonus. But is that what I want in life? It is only reasonable to see, given them a high income they think you're capable, but if you were to tell them something else that requires time and money investment, this will not go down well with them.

I apologize for this long post, but I do feel for you. (It's a pity I think, not feel for you as if I love you. I'm straight! LOL!)

If you're still schooling, go on with it because that is the basic requirement. Once you are a in a decent position to decide for yourself, then go with your heart. Remember, music has NEVER been accepted as a main-stream vocation. So it takes alot more to face the obstacles that comes your way and this is only a minor obstacle.

Earn your rights, earn your respect... and you earn yourself a place.

Cheerz,

DD
 
although i don know how we could be of help but in life, we all play a different role at different point of time. child, teen, young adult, spouse, parents, grand parents. our point of view will change as we grow.

regarding the new guitar issue, do you already have a guitar? why do you need a another one?
 
Frankly speaking, I am not too clear on what your grouse is.

Is it;
1.) that your dad is reluctant to purchase you another guitar?
2.) that ladies can spend a lot on "clothes, shoes, handbags n shit"?
3.) people do not appreciate guitars enough.

In my humble opinion, those aforementioned grouses are insubstantial.

As you said, you know your dad loves you. And he has already purchased a guitar for you. Plus as you mentioned, he loves you. Truly, What more can you ask for?

Not all ladies spend a lot on clothes etc. And I do understand the rationale behind this point.
It is like me complaining that Trump can spend so much on private jets yet I cannot do likewise, and that I have to take the MRT every damned day.

As for the last point, you will eventually realise that for everything/event/matter/object/religion in this world, however amazing or perfect, there will still always be dissenters.
Again, I do not what is the point of complaining that people do not appreciate guitars enough.

I cannot help but to stand on your dad's side. Although I understand the frustration you are experiencing.

I myself keep my parents out of the guitar/gear equation. Because I understand that it's my own personal hobby. I have always worked part-time to fund my gear purchases. I worked at a metal-working workshop(horrible job) just last year to raise funds for more gear purchases.

Bottomline, it is my personal hobby.
I do not mind if people do not appreciate it as much, or that people have more to spend, or what they spend on. It is my own love for guitars, all that matters is that I appreciate it enough to work for it.

And plus I read you are going to save up, which is awesome is it not? So what is the problem?
 
Phil said:
I myself keep my parents out of the guitar/gear equation. Because I understand that it's my own personal hobby. I have always worked part-time to fund my gear purchases. I worked at a metal-working workshop(horrible job) just last year to raise funds for more gear purchases.
Click to expand...

Bro Phil Bro, I read this and I feel for you.

The next time I selling stuff and you wanna buy, come come, discount for you.
 
I'm afraid you're expecting us to agree with you and make you feel better. No.

ok to be objective, we need some background here. my comments based on the following assumptions

1) You're still a student.
2) Your pocket money and source of "income" are from your parents.
3) You already own a guitar and your parents bought it.

IMHO they have done their part, in fulfilling your musical needs. Providing you with an opportunity to own a proper electric guitar.

What you're facing here are WANTS. You want more.

Hold on a second here and look around. There are more unprivilege students WITHOUT a guitar.

On a personal side, I wished I had an electric guitar when I was in my secondary school in malaysia. Worked damn hard for my O's, scored a deal with my parents and got my first electric. Starved all the way in poly here for a DOD Classic Fuzz and a Zoom2020 with a Peavey Rage 108. Got a job earned my moolah and now I have a stockpile of gear that I wished I didn't buy.

So my advise is, don't grow up so fast. Some lessons in life are learnt from NOT having the opportunity rather than having it.

And if I were you, I'll talk to my dad and give him the assurance that studies comes first.
 
Mr Bin
You've got lots of good advise thus far. You come and I assume that you are asking for advice. So hear me out -

First off, the materialistic thingies you talked about with respect to girls is just how your dad sees you going about and buying another guitar.

Think about it.

Should you decide that it is alright for a guy to walk around mostly naked except for a vintage Strat strapped across YOUR shoulders then there's not much help for you, here or anywhere else.

As for buying a first or even a second guitar, keep in mind that saving up is still using your dad's money - I take it that like a lot of Singaporean teenagers, you have an allowance from your parents. So what's the point even if you saved up using the money that they gave to you?

Unless you are wantong to prove to them that you can save - which a lot of people, especially girls, can do then there is nothing to think about there.

Preferably, look for a part-time job during the upcoming holidays.

ShredCOW is right in that you have to prove that you want something bad enough. Enough to do it on your own. Because in a few years' time, you're going to have to do it all on your own. Pay the bills. Do the groceries etc etc etc.

The fact that you got your first guitar shows that they were willing to get you started. WHere you go from there is all up to you.

For your info, there are decent acoustic guitars going for less than a hundred S$ dollars. I don't understand why people jump onto electric guitars without first appreciating an acoustic guitar. It's the best learning tool in as far as playing the guitar is concerned, especially if you want to be a very good guitarist - as the case seems.

Great guitarists don't start off with a great guitar. They start off with a great attitude. They work on that. And then they arrive. And at that, only a few get noticed. Dream on dude. I'm not discouraging you but when you dream, remember that for most of time, your eyes are wide open and there are living people with a heart and soul that you live with - near or far. And your parents, lucky that you have both, should be one one the most important people in your life.

So don't let your passion for guitar-ring get in the way of you and your parents.

If you go out and get a part-time job, you will be able to buy yourself a decent guitar and also be able to buy your mom and dad a Christmas present, using your own money. There couldn't be anything sweeter in this BS world than that.

Again, I repeat, it's not the guitar that makes the guitarist. It's a sad truth that should you read the threads here, that one is likely to think that's all that it is. The fact is that it's what's in you that makes the sound, the tone, the feel and the music that all these intangibles embody.

Don't fret too much about people and their gear - excuse the pun. It's all about you and what you can do with a decent guitar, and I encourage you to work with a decently priced acoustic guitar for the next 1-3 years, siince you're just starting out, depending on how otfen you practice and play.

My .02
RoRK
 
ok all the good advise are out.... can I start dedicating songs to bin4christ??????? :lol: :lol:
 
Dude, I worked part time for my gear - Cold Storage, giving tuition or even saving up my Chinese New Year money year by year just to get the guitar i want!

You know, if you start work right now working at an hourly wage of 5 bucks for 8 hours a day until Christmas or so, you should at least earn $1.2k. Now that sum of money should get you quite a decent guitar 8)

I spent my sec4 year end holidays doing that. It was the only holidays which I did not have homework and I could literally slack and LAN everyday with my pals but I chose to work. Even got my mom a real nice Christmas present too which kinda convinced her to let me use my own hard earned money to buy my guitar :p I'm in a way worse off right? I need permission to use the money I earned myself.

I made the sacrifice. Would you?
 
my turn.

i worked saved.ate less.

and bought my bass guitar and a electric guitar.

my parents showed their support by not omplaining.and by trusting that i noe how to prioritise my studies.and balance music.


and i have frens whose parents willingly spend more den a thousand for a guitar for them.

but i understand tt its MY hobby..and my parents allowing me to buy it..its their way of supporting me..


everyone has a way of showing their support.its whether we see it or not.
 
My parents are willing to pay lots of $$ for my education,tuition etc.
but stuff like gear or my hobbies/interests,I must save up and pay for whatever I need.

Although it's a harder way out,but I do feel that since it's MY interest in music,I should be using my own money to pursue it.and since i'm still a student,the only thing I can do is save.

Maybe if you try to show your parents that you really are a dedicated musician and your interest is not just some thing that lasts '3mins' , then maybe they will try to pay for some of your gear :D
 
count yourself lucky to be able to own your own electric guitar at this age.

I know alot of good guitarists who had to wait till they were much older to own their first.

when you start working and earning your own money, then please do be excessive in your attainment of gear.

however ,I do know its hard, cos you probably have to put up with people like us constantly raving about gear on soft almost everyday.

thank God back then there was no internet. :D
 
true DD...

there was once..i was recollecting..how i got my guitar..

i smelled it..it smelled of sweat.not the sweat which came from working to ge the guitar..

but the sweat cos i didnt wipe my sweat off after playing. :oops:


hehehe. :lol:
 
Maswani said:
At least your dad got you a guitar, mine i gotta save up long time to get a used one. 8O
Click to expand...

ok, it's not a decent guitar i own. no doubt my dad bought them for me, but both are acoustics. steel strings, flat-fretboards, no truss rods, n the arch on the neck is very very obvious (meaning it's bent).
i thot i had struck a deal with him, since two years ago when i said i wanted an electric guitar. he said he'll see it based on results. a few days ago i asked him if he can buy me 1 since the Os are on the verge of ending. he said ok. but then today he grumbled a lot n finally said no.

look, the reason why i posted this wasnt because i was pissed with my dad. like i said, i knwo both my folks love me. i'm pissed at what he said.

n btw, regarding those who talk about a music career, i never said i wanted one. wanting/owning a guitar doesnt mean that u must have a music career right? n this is also how my dad feels. 'having an acoustic is enough. acoustic n electric is the same. only the talented (he INSISTS that i dont have talent).'

n anw, i posted this thread, not because i'm unhappy with my dad.
 
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