abortion

[blueprintstudios]

whitestrat : forgot to go into details, actually I already considered all things mental/physical/financials before I'm confident enough to say "I plan it to be unplanned" so I won't stress myself out too much about having kids. to answer any "are you ready to be a dad" question , my answer was forever not ready. I wasn't ready to get married have a house nor settle down with anyone nor done earning all the money printed in the world. but when the time it happens, my motto is do what feels right in your heart. and of course balance the reality check with your mind. life has never been any harder than what I've been through so far so I'm definitely looking forward to be amused looking at all my friends who's got kids of their own.

in general I was focusing on the fact that it's almost impossible that anyone could ever be fully ready for any first-time-experience-lifelong commitment and just because you feel you're not ready for responsibility some"one" else answers for your selfishness.

 

[Whitestrat]

to answer any "are you ready to be a dad" question , my answer was forever not ready.

Nothing you watch, hear, read or discover will ever prepare you for that. I guarantee it. What makes you think I was prepared when he popped out?:mrgreen:

 

[1800-GAMEBOY]

Brutal Abortion Metal :twisted:

Rock Brudder! Rock!

bahahahahah!

 

[fgl]

Hey dude,

My 2cents advice. Just talk to ur parents. i know its difficult, but at least u can try without having to go for abortion. A mark of being a true man is making the right decisions in difficult times. U gotta make a good decsion.

I understand all of us will be stressed by the finances of raising a kid, tat's y i would advice u to seek ur parents or relatives if u have. I'm sure honesty will pay off dude. Its not easy but u juz gotta heck it and tell the truth. It'll set u free and make u feel better rather than now u're feeling like shit stressed abt wat to do next.

Talk to ur gf too. U love her right? Abortion is really a traumatizing experience. I have friends who went for it and they get tramutised by it. So pls, dun choose this option. There is always a way out.

At most, u will kena scolded, beaten by ur parents but that beats better than killing ur own kid dude.

I'm sure u'll find strength somehow. Take care man.
Rem, be a man and admit to ur mistakes. wat done cannot be undone, but u can always make the right decisions and right the wrong.

IMHO the most sensible & best post in this thread

Tp the TS, all the best to u & ur gf and I hope everything works out well

 

[DeathCubeK]

Ask Maia Lee, she's the champion of unplanned pregnancies.

 

[whee]

Reading through 9 pages of replies is pretty hilarious.

Anyway, you may want to visit the following sites:

http://www.help-iampregnant.com/blog/

http://tristefemme.blogspot.com/

In any case, you should approach a responsible adult, like a teacher or a parent or an older sibling to discuss about your current situation and your possible options.

Do bear in mind the pros and cons of abortion.. The possible emotional distress that you be subjecting your girlfriend to aside (this has been well elaborated by other members), you must realise that this is an invasive medical procedure and carries risks of complication and exposure to future disease or medical ailments. It should not be a decision made by you alone. You should also sound her out and see what she prefers as well as opposed to just imposing your views onto her.

An alternative to abortion (if raising the child is out of the question), would be to give the child up to adoption. There are avenues for you to look to, if you are still in school, there are guidance counsellors who will be able to advise you on the best possible option given your particular circumstances. Whatever you do, please do not force her to undergo the procedure as it is unethical, morally reprehensible, and may also expose you to some form of legal liability.

In any case, seek help. You and your girlfriend are not alone.

 

[World-of-Music]

What you have to do first is to check whether she is really pregnant. Confirm your situation, don't make assumptions.

If she is really pregnant, face it together with your gf. You may want to let both side of parents know about the situation. It is not only you and your gf's problem but also family members of both sides.

It is a mistake that you got her pregnant when both of you are not prepared to have a child but what is done cannot be undone. A mistake cannot be undone now but what you can do now is to make-up to your mistakes. And that is the decision that both of you have to make. Whether you are going on with the abortion or to receive your child to this Earth.

What does your gf really thinks? Does she really want an abortion? Don't forget that the child is also her's. Talk to her about it. Both of you should also seek help from a professional/adult if you need to because regardless to abort or to give birth to the child is a BIG decision to make.

As for my own opinion, i think abortion should be the last resort. There is always other options to take. Sit down and talk about it before making this BIG decision. Is your financial difficulty really hindering you from receiving your own child? Is there really no solution to that? A life is at stake now. Please think through it seriously.

Lastly, i hope that both you and your gf can make it through this hard time. Seek advise if you must.

Take care and God bless you!

 

[antheiahymm]

just want to share my opinion about this issue, i think abortion is not the best answer for this one, if ever your gf is pregnant..think of the consequences my friend...be responsible enough, abortion it ain't that easy to handle to especially on the part of your gf...

 

[THOA]

Morality and pragmatism aside, you do have to realise that, IF your gf is pregnant, she is already undergoing biological changes.. Her body is adjusting to having someone growing in her and preparing what is to come. Getting rid of the baby means there will a sudden, unnatural change within that her body cannot immediately adjust to.

To you it may be getting rid of something unwanted. Once it's done it's done.

To her, it's getting rid of a part of her own biological extension. It won't be the abortion that she has to worry about. It would be what comes after that.

 

[xiaoviper]

I correct myself from my previous post saying that abortion is the last resort.

I think it SHOULDN'T be done, or even CONSIDERED at all. =S Don't take someone's life away that's not yours. Just let him/her come to earth. Agree with what whee said, that putting for adoption can be done. At least you get to see your child... (you'll know when it happens).

 

[THOA]

Morality and pragmatism aside, you do have to realise that, IF your gf is pregnant, she is already undergoing biological changes.. Her body is adjusting to having someone growing in her and preparing what is to come. Getting rid of the baby means there will a sudden, unnatural change within that her body cannot immediately adjust to.

To you it may be getting rid of something unwanted. Once it's done it's done.

To her, it's getting rid of a part of her own biological extension. It won't be the abortion that she has to worry about. It would be what comes after that.

 

[Hickey_]

Seriously?! 10 pages?! And yes even going for abortion seems irrespondsible and whatnots. But if it is for the better then why not. Rather than you troubling your parents and her parents and your grandparents and her grandparents and all those people around you. seriously. condoms are full of win. thou they are 99.97% safe only, i think? and why you would you want your kid to grow up in a struggling environment. Unless your family is SUPER rich then go ahead lah, give birth as many as you want. (Y)

im not for abortion neither am i anti abortion. Its just for the better?

 

[Whitestrat]

To her, it's getting rid of a part of her own biological extension. It won't be the abortion that she has to worry about. It would be what comes after that.

Erm... actually the body naturally discharges the remnants. She bleeds for quite a bit, but it's like having really heavy flow for menstruation. It's not as bad as you'd think.

Anyways, Like I said, if she's not prepared for it, then he better be prepared that his relationship with her will change. That's unavoidable.

 

[johnf]

..

u sir, if u have a child, then i would appreciate if u rant like this, but the thing is, u dont.....like me, u have not yet understand how to raise a child.so, please, keep it down and or just dont comment.
and i would appreciate if u could allow some positive solutions, not adding on to it, like what ur doing here.and i do not care if i disgust u, at least i respect the mistakes others made and help them out if i could.

yes, i dont usually share my comments that much, that is why i only have a few posts. but i do come here every single day to check this thread out, thanks a lot to those who came forward..it feels good at least to know some of the way out..

i am 22.my gf and i have talked abt it, we have agreed to this abortion.i am not selfish and i do care abt how she feels. this impacted us so much that we got closer, treasure each other more and call each other every single time to ask how we're doing.....i expected it to turn the other way around.

i hope some of u really should start to respect this mistake i have made, if we're gg to shoot each other down with the mistake people made, then soft would be such a wrong place to be..

once again, thank u..

 

[ymmak]

I have read many great advices here, from whitestrat, vaiyen, bluesprintstudio and many more. They are all great solutions, which collectively, I believe, can solve the emotional, physical, health and financial concerns the TS is undergoing. But I dont think the TS wants to hear any of these advices. It doesnt appear to me that the TS is here to "face the music" or "learn a lesson" or "learn from mistake". It appears to me that he just want to know the address of a clinic that does abortion, and its charges.

 

[Whitestrat]

i am 22.my gf and i have talked abt it, we have agreed to this abortion.i am not selfish and i do care abt how she feels. this impacted us so much that we got closer, treasure each other more and call each other every single time to ask how we're doing.....i expected it to turn the other way around.

Not WE. SHE. She has to agree to it herself, and not because of coersion from you. Really. Otherwise it'll be extremely difficult for both of you to come to terms with it.

But remember what I said previously. This will change your relationship with her for sure. It can swing both ways, but it will not remain the same as previous.

Bear that in mind, and you just might be able to save the relationship.

BTW, for a doctor who does this, refer to her Gynae. he/she can perform the abortion. If she doesn't have one, then... It's time to get one. Any women's clinic would have this.

P.S. Actually, soft IS the wrong place for discussions like this. A better place would be the SingaporeBrides forums or the Motherhood forums. Plenty of advice, support and resources there.

 

[balloons]

i am 22.my gf and i have talked abt it, we have agreed to this abortion.i am not selfish and i do care abt how she feels. this impacted us so much that we got closer, treasure each other more and call each other every single time to ask how we're doing.....i expected it to turn the other way around.

i hope some of u really should start to respect this mistake i have made, if we're gg to shoot each other down with the mistake people made, then soft would be such a wrong place to be..

Before i start, i am a father of 2 and my kids are 3 and 5 years old each. Now you were saying u are not selfish. But i don't think so, why can't you both just keep the child? where is the love to overcome difficulty? "still too young?" "not enough money?"

Sorry i have to say the obvious,because i have to be frank. Abortion is not quitting a tuition course or quitting a band.

Next, i would definitely not ''respect your mistake" because the fact is,there are condoms around right? why can't and why don't you use it? I wonder..

 

[blueprintstudios]

johnf : keep talking i yawn when i'm interested.
lets just say I've "been there done that" in "your situation" just that I don't have to hang any of my dirty past laundry in soft specially for you, you don't know me and you don't have to.

I already told you, don't be trying to wait out for people who agree with your "mistake-solving-POSITIVE solution" , you will lose. I guarantee you even if you take your thread elsewhere like some flowerpod or something nothing will change except the size of your gf's womb and your ever bloating ego until you wake up your own idea out of this denial.

p.s : don't insult forum cos you are the wrong person to be in the right place.

 

[foxxylady]

Lesson to learn: USE PROTECTION DAMNIT!!!!!!

 

[blueprintstudios]

JohnF : I have 2 questions (and i'm sure softies here want to know too) for you before I finally "keep it down" cos bashing you like this makes me sym-pathetic.. sympathy for the pathetic..

1) you mentioned you're 22. then your gf? =) also 22? sure?

2) have you asked dear JaneF look at this thread? lol. if she agrees with you wholeheartedly pretty much we can get this thread closed cos both have agreed with the "positive solution". most of the time I know irresponsible guys to be manipulative a.k.a hypnotize a.k.a "psycho le'prego'femme". make sure they don't get an outside opinion to "spoil market".

------------------------
*edit*
before I forget to say. I'm no anti-abortionist-society-chairman not a parent YET but have been looking forward to be one ever since I was 16 (I swear I thought if I was gonna be single I will adopt).Important thing is I want "highly active" teenagers reading this thread to learn and know that johnf's example is not a mindset you should have to solve teen pregnancy problems and it's not even an option unless the foetus endangers your spouse's life. (baby can always conceive another, but wife... well that's another joke topic but lets IN THIS case say "wife cannot find another like her")

and I know this is a music forum. but I believe it's something positive that non-parenthood individuals like me and many softies who are inspired can learn from.