I know I would keep the child even if I'm not financially ready because that is something I can change, but aborting a child is something that can't be undone.
No you don't know.
While I agree with you wholeheartedly on the moral aspect, I cannot but disagree with you pragmatically.
I am a father, a husband, and provider to my family. I know that what makes my family wonderful is the desire (ok, not like my boy has a choice), between my wife and I to maintain a family together. My wife puts in 150% of her heart to being a great wife, amazing daughter-in-law, and fantastic mother. That emotional and physical commitment one makes to the other is very real.
The problem I have with your arguement on whether the TS should or should not keep the baby is that it is not a matter of regret or sorrow that will take place. That his GF is pregnant is already done. It's unavoidable. His relationship with her, abortion or not, will already change regardless of the decision.
What's apparent is that he has no desire, whatever reasons, to marry her and start a family at this point, prepared or not. It makes no difference whether he is 18 or 28. There are 30 odd year olds out there who have the same mental hurdle when it comes to commitment.
So, since he has a problem with establishing a family, there is really no point in goading him to continue with the pregnancy. Moral or not, it will end in disaster no matter what the decision on the foetus is. Instead of being happy with a family, he will feel saddened, burdened and obligated.
It will destroy not only his life, but his partners, and more sadly, his child's. The family would most likely end up dysfunctional, and the child will suffer. Honestly, I really couldn't careless about the parents... I just don't wish such a fate on any child. Especially if that child were to be mine.
If you have no children, you will have no clue how much your life changes. Hearing stories from friends or family will ever prepare you for the joys of parenthood. For one who has no intention of keeping the child, forcing him down this route will only result in resentment and frustration build up in him when he discovers how much of his current lifestyle is lost.
Many if not all of the marriages you know of that fail basically fail for the same reason: They got married for the wrong reasons. Saying "I Love You" is not reason enough to get married, no matter how simple it seems.
And getting married for the sake of keeping a child is a sad and unfortunate reason, and is doomed for disaster.
While it does pain me to see the possiblity of a life extinguished, I cannot but advise that if he is not prepared for the trials and tribulations of a family, then it is seriously better for everybody if the pregnancy is terminated.
That abortion is a traumatising experience, is a given. It is more emotionally painful than physically. But that is momentary, and fleeting in the whole span of life, when you consider that what will affect you for months, is nothing compared to what will affect a child for the rest of his/her life.
Advising that the child be born and given up for adoption is also a flawed perspective. What do you think the Mother will go through after carrying for 10 months then delivery? And after, having to give up the child for adoption? Do you KNOW how much pain that will cause? Not to mention the other pains that will come AFTER all that?
No. Unless you are a parent.
