how do u overcome anger?
- Thread starter rockassmonster
- Start date
EngelFaeuste
New member
Eliminate the source of anger.
blueprintstudios
New member
to TS : First of all I'd like to thumbs up on the fact that you took initiative , it's half the battle won. i totally feel you, as a guy who grew up in the "harsher environments" of life and upbringing (family background of tempered natures) which caused me to have a tendency of anger management (it was bad to the point where everyone around me told me I need to see a shrink too and that got me even pissed lol) , till today I still have the problem but it's very much in control due to a few effective counter"attacks" for the wars within myself.
Rule of thumb : you are your own worst enemy.
the way to handle is REASON.
Cycle : Anger > Violence > Grudge(Revenge) > Insecurities
From what I read, the first thing that comes to your mind in any "angry" situation is "Violence". so like tetris, you have to solve the problems of the top before you hit the root.
you did not mention anything about "grudges", if you don't bear (forgive and forget) any, that's good then you can skip this phase.
if you have high tendencies to, then you need to solve the battle scars first before working on your prevention. We're all humans so being angry is normal emotions.
[Insecurities and Grudges]
Personally, grudges to me are left-over "anger" that causes "insecurities". So question yourself, are there any insecurities within yourself, what can you do to curb/"deflect" that feeling? my friends found me a much better person ever since I've fixed this anger problem, but I've appeared more arrogant to "deflect".The lesser emotional security issues you have with yourself as time goes by, the more less-confident you'll be. When you have more "confidence" than "insecurities", you can truly reason with yourself to let go of those grudges unless they serve positive learning experiences to make the better man out of yourself.Please take precaution not to become "over-confident outside, but empty shell full of insecurities inside" kinda guy, that's just as bad. the idea here is to empower your Reason so you can handle any negative feelings in future.
[Violence]
you can try my method, I always tell myself and I tell people who try to find fault with me : "I don't believe in violence. I don't fight. I only kill. And Your life, is barely even worth my effort/time." I'm saying this because it's easy to get into a fight, but I'm sure you stop to think twice or 3 times before you kill right? (or stop totally) so during that point of thought is where "Reason" comes in to remind you. You are a married man (you mentioned spouse?) , think about all the great things you have in your life, and tell to any troublemaker what great things you have and they have NONE, and not even worth it. People have to resort to trouble making/violence with you because they're jealous and insecure
from this point you can see why others have said I turned arrogant. It beats any negative feeling that they'd probably prefer me to be sombong than violent.
[Anger]
Anger is an emotion. Humans are trained to build walls within themselves so they don't feel or show pain/sadness/happiness (composure in a corporate environment) If you're the sort of guy who's easily distracted, then make it a habit to distract yourself in advance (be it happy thoughts etc) if you can pretty much predict within the next 10 minutes you're going to be "angry". That's prevention. If not, Anger is like a mosquito bite on your toe (doesn't EVERYONE HATE THAT?) , the more you scratch it with violence the more it itches. Use alternatives to appease your anger, putting ice on it, or leave it be until you get used to it. numb to anger. go home and apply tiger balm or balsem gosok on it , it'll go away.
Personally, I run a preemptive strike system towards handling difficult people knowing that if I piss them off first, I shall enjoy their negative feelings instead and that prevents me from getting angry all together. Because you must know if there're people out there to make your day bad, they will become the victims of their own foolish anger if they fail, and you MUST be there to turn negative energy positive by feasting every minute of it to your advantage.
here's an example, I was hungry, I have a meal at this restaurant, the waitress tries to victimize me and make my day bad, show poor service and make me lose appetite, I shall share it with her by making hers worse by encouraging her to continue showing me her poor service (entire restaurant has 5 staff but I will only call her for every little issue and stupid questions from menu items, opening hours, promotions, creditcards and sauces), to generate great appetite seeing her bad day gone worse despite her attempt to screw up mine, the big smile on my face fuels the fire and the extreme mock/sarcasm rubs salt onto open wound. Then I end it all by complaining poor service and demand to waiver off service charges. Thanks to her. =) GST is bad enough.
There're numerous methods suggested by softies and this one is highly effective for me. Experiment and you shall find peace within yourself or a way to piss it out of your system.
cheers
Rule of thumb : you are your own worst enemy.
the way to handle is REASON.
Cycle : Anger > Violence > Grudge(Revenge) > Insecurities
From what I read, the first thing that comes to your mind in any "angry" situation is "Violence". so like tetris, you have to solve the problems of the top before you hit the root.
you did not mention anything about "grudges", if you don't bear (forgive and forget) any, that's good then you can skip this phase.
if you have high tendencies to, then you need to solve the battle scars first before working on your prevention. We're all humans so being angry is normal emotions.
[Insecurities and Grudges]
Personally, grudges to me are left-over "anger" that causes "insecurities". So question yourself, are there any insecurities within yourself, what can you do to curb/"deflect" that feeling? my friends found me a much better person ever since I've fixed this anger problem, but I've appeared more arrogant to "deflect".The lesser emotional security issues you have with yourself as time goes by, the more less-confident you'll be. When you have more "confidence" than "insecurities", you can truly reason with yourself to let go of those grudges unless they serve positive learning experiences to make the better man out of yourself.Please take precaution not to become "over-confident outside, but empty shell full of insecurities inside" kinda guy, that's just as bad. the idea here is to empower your Reason so you can handle any negative feelings in future.
[Violence]
you can try my method, I always tell myself and I tell people who try to find fault with me : "I don't believe in violence. I don't fight. I only kill. And Your life, is barely even worth my effort/time." I'm saying this because it's easy to get into a fight, but I'm sure you stop to think twice or 3 times before you kill right? (or stop totally) so during that point of thought is where "Reason" comes in to remind you. You are a married man (you mentioned spouse?) , think about all the great things you have in your life, and tell to any troublemaker what great things you have and they have NONE, and not even worth it. People have to resort to trouble making/violence with you because they're jealous and insecure
from this point you can see why others have said I turned arrogant. It beats any negative feeling that they'd probably prefer me to be sombong than violent.
[Anger]
Anger is an emotion. Humans are trained to build walls within themselves so they don't feel or show pain/sadness/happiness (composure in a corporate environment) If you're the sort of guy who's easily distracted, then make it a habit to distract yourself in advance (be it happy thoughts etc) if you can pretty much predict within the next 10 minutes you're going to be "angry". That's prevention. If not, Anger is like a mosquito bite on your toe (doesn't EVERYONE HATE THAT?) , the more you scratch it with violence the more it itches. Use alternatives to appease your anger, putting ice on it, or leave it be until you get used to it. numb to anger. go home and apply tiger balm or balsem gosok on it , it'll go away.
Personally, I run a preemptive strike system towards handling difficult people knowing that if I piss them off first, I shall enjoy their negative feelings instead and that prevents me from getting angry all together. Because you must know if there're people out there to make your day bad, they will become the victims of their own foolish anger if they fail, and you MUST be there to turn negative energy positive by feasting every minute of it to your advantage.
here's an example, I was hungry, I have a meal at this restaurant, the waitress tries to victimize me and make my day bad, show poor service and make me lose appetite, I shall share it with her by making hers worse by encouraging her to continue showing me her poor service (entire restaurant has 5 staff but I will only call her for every little issue and stupid questions from menu items, opening hours, promotions, creditcards and sauces), to generate great appetite seeing her bad day gone worse despite her attempt to screw up mine, the big smile on my face fuels the fire and the extreme mock/sarcasm rubs salt onto open wound. Then I end it all by complaining poor service and demand to waiver off service charges. Thanks to her. =) GST is bad enough.
There're numerous methods suggested by softies and this one is highly effective for me. Experiment and you shall find peace within yourself or a way to piss it out of your system.
cheers
hey james why did you delete my post?
by calling him a freak i was trying to help him get over his anger.
you should interpret the context before deleting a post.
if he blew up and responded to me calling him a freak the next step would be to show him that this is exactly what he should not have done.
so how do you propose we help him get over his problem if you delete every single offensive post targeted at him?
by calling him a freak i was trying to help him get over his anger.
you should interpret the context before deleting a post.
if he blew up and responded to me calling him a freak the next step would be to show him that this is exactly what he should not have done.
so how do you propose we help him get over his problem if you delete every single offensive post targeted at him?
1) Take guitar
2) Plug in to your dist pedal
3) Turn amp loud
4) Play power chords and saturate your environment with that powerful sound.
5) After that, shred your diminish minor arpeggios till you feel your anger leaving.
6) Turn of dist
7) Play chord progression G C D. Then G again, slowly strumming. There you go. Feel happy already.
2) Plug in to your dist pedal
3) Turn amp loud
4) Play power chords and saturate your environment with that powerful sound.
5) After that, shred your diminish minor arpeggios till you feel your anger leaving.
6) Turn of dist
7) Play chord progression G C D. Then G again, slowly strumming. There you go. Feel happy already.
Last edited:
fenderrules
New member
I pray to God.
i admit i'm not perfect. i'm still growing as a person, still seeking. i know my flaws - overly sarcastic, arrogance, and ignorance. but i'm still trying to work on them.
but please enlighten me on what i said in another thread, i forget.
hifi_killer
New member
blueprintstudio: have to disagree with reasoning..
If you are in a angry mood, you are too distracted , too preoccupied with your anger , not to mention too bias in a self-serving manner to rationalize your thoughts or to reason effectively.
You got to exercise incredible amount of self control, self-detachment to reason effectively when you are angry. But then again if you have lots of self control, you wouldnt get angry in the 1st place.
Prevention is better than cure...
pre-anger factors have more impact in anger control than measures taken when you are angry.
But well, then again different people have different solutions to their problems.
If you are in a angry mood, you are too distracted , too preoccupied with your anger , not to mention too bias in a self-serving manner to rationalize your thoughts or to reason effectively.
You got to exercise incredible amount of self control, self-detachment to reason effectively when you are angry. But then again if you have lots of self control, you wouldnt get angry in the 1st place.
Prevention is better than cure...
pre-anger factors have more impact in anger control than measures taken when you are angry.
But well, then again different people have different solutions to their problems.
I deleted your post so that if you got angry and responded as such, I would tell you that this is exactly what you should not have done. Did it work?
i explained myself on that post. i wasn't angry. i said it jokingly, but apparently sarcasm doesn't work online. i've learnt this countless times only to repeat it over and over again and get misunderstood for real ill intentions.
blueprintstudios
New member
hifi_killer : you lose sense of reason when you're angry indeed, that's why I mentioned if you know you're going to get angry within the next 10 mins you "prepare yourself". and practise to the state where this "habit" of being mentally prepared for anger puts you in control in advance. and like i said, until now I can't control my anger if it happens "lesser than 10 minutes" like an instant (especially when driving) cos i'm only human... but that seldom happens nowadays, cos i'm such a nice guy...... hahah....
c.adl
New member
Best advice ever. I never thought of that. When im pissed, i listen to heavy shit which drive me even more nuts. haha. Missed the first 2 parts. Now ive got that in mind. thanks dude.
LadyInTears
Well-known member
today the chinese guy at davis totally pissed me off.
went with a friend when they were about to close, he just rudely say closed come tomorrow, thank goodness the other staff let my friend in as he needed an emg repair, but when i wanted to go in, the said get out, your friend wont get lost. wah never so angry in a long time.
but then i was carrying my new orville, so didnt wanna get it put it in harms way haha
went with a friend when they were about to close, he just rudely say closed come tomorrow, thank goodness the other staff let my friend in as he needed an emg repair, but when i wanted to go in, the said get out, your friend wont get lost. wah never so angry in a long time.
but then i was carrying my new orville, so didnt wanna get it put it in harms way haha
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