The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Intro: strats
- Thread starter strats
- Start date
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Guest
Guest
wtf???
When I was younger, I was involved in a circus, I was one of those people that do those things on the rings, also known as an acrobat. Well anyways, I got kidnapped by a biker gang and they tried to hold me for ransom. I escaped and ran and found my way into Las Vegas. There I made bets in secret betting rings. I gradually worked my way up to millions of dollars but I didnt have a house and had no purpose for it so I kept stashing it in a box that I buried. I had grown a nasty habit for gambling even though the money didnt mean anything to me. Anyways after a game of Texas Hold 'em where I won about 250,000 dollars the unfortunate man that I beat was so enraged that he followed me back to my stash spot and struck me in the back of the head. When I woke up I was in an airplane tied up with a parachute with some masked man behind me. Finally he untied me and then threw me out of the plane. I landed somewhere by Bastrop lake in an area known as LBA(Lake Bastrop Acres). There I lead a small drug ring selling amphetamines to underage minors for 3 years. Eventually the cops raided my underground meth lab in the old WWII POW tunnels. I ran for my life. I had no one else to go or turn to so I just kept walking west, torwards the sun in hopes that it would one day bring me back to Las Vegas where I would amass another great fortune. It was late one night when destiny called. I was walking across the road and was hit by a small car. I broke both my femurs and couldn't walk for 6 months. The lady who hit me was named Nicola. She nurtured me back to health during this time. I was shocked from the accident and couldnt remember my own name! (even to this day I still can't, there might have been slight brain damage) So she decided to name me Nicholas because it was her fathers name. So here I am. I have been living with Nicola (a.k.a. mom) for quite some time now (6 years I think) and have grown fond of my current adoptive family and have decided to stay.
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Guest
Guest
i swear im luffing my ass off.. :lol:
kid_slacker said:
Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad backfrom driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought.
What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know.
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Guest
Guest
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHA..
nice nice nice..
go on..LMAO! :smt082
nice nice nice..
go on..LMAO! :smt082
strats, did you write all these stuff or did you lift it from http://www.plentyoffish.com/member955479.htm like Vaiyen suggested?
please clarify.
please clarify.
