your family.

[visa]

how is your relationship with your family like?

I always feel touched and jealous when I think about Levan's or Wayne's parents being so involved in their lives, so full of support and love.

My family and I personally have a rather strained relationship. They have alot of expectations of me that I struggle to live up to, and they are strongly against my music. I find myself having to lie to them just to jam or record with my band, or to catch other local bands performing. And I hate it. I find myself having to listen to music on my headphones or write songs at night when everybody's sleeping. (I hide my guitar behind my cupboard cause I'm worried that my dad might get pissed off and smash it like he smashed my bass before).

I intend to do well in my examinations next year and live up to their expectations and make them happy and stuff. But my biggest dream now is to play a large gig, like Baybeats or LSB or something, and bring my parents down and let them see how much it means to me.

I hope some day they'll accept this as my passion and what makes me feel happy to be alive.

Any of you guys in the same boat? How do you deal with it?

 

[helioskills]

wow man ur situation is harsh. my dad is kinda like that, only it extends to everything i enjoy like basketball and even pokemon (as a kid lar), so yeah i can sort of relate. i suppose its cos when something is important to me i go all the way and forget everything else, ie studies lol. but theyre parents so who can really blame them. but dood my dad has never SMASHED any of my stuff before.

 

[bklk]

hey visa

sometimes you got to do what you got to do... expectation from parents will always be there.... studies are as important as living your dreams.

but nobody says you CANT do both at the same time.

it might be easier said than done.. but theres always a balance..strike deals with them..such as..

"i do well in this exam, you leave me alone to do my music.."..etc

at the end of the day, Dreams are what keeps us alive.

good luck

"dont stop believing" - journey

 

[kerplunk182]

my dad wants me to put studies before music and has treatened to sell/trow my guitar away if i don't do well in my exams. However, my mom asks me when my next gig is. And sometimes when i go jam, i hide my guitar/bass outside the door before i leave so i look like i left empty handed.

 

[bockscar]

my parents are okay

jam + play guitar. do whatever you want.

but must show that my school results are good.

however, they highly discourage pursuing music as a career.

 

[rottenramone]

agree with bklk, show your folks that you are able to balance your studies and your passion. its gonna be a huge hurdle to cross considering your dad has shown his displeasure by smashing your bass, so its up to you to get back your parents trust.

 

[Alice9]

my parents thinks the kind of music im into r rubbish... always scold me for listening to jrock. made me quit lessons to do better in studies. but most of the time now when i do average in studies, they dun rly care abt me. well, they r barely listening to wad i say in the first place. always answer me with some out of the world answers.

 

[van_halen]

alot of parents don't realise it's better for their kids to play guitar and practice than go out make trouble

 

[Alice9]

umm, to them, since they r all still reserved ppl, playing in bands r supposed to be for those school drop outs, troublemakers etc. but we all kno tt its not true... tts the mental barrier which will nvr cease to exist btw the older n younger generations.

 

[spinofdoom]

yepz.

Parents always say 'Play guitar waste time no future. '

They think that studying is always the best thing to do in life.

But some of us dun like the 9-5 life. So borin.

Why can't we b allowed to do wad makes us happy in life.And what sum1 above me said. Itz better to noe ur son is jamming wif bandmates in a studio rather than wondering whether he going gang fite rite?

 

[EugeneSmasher]

My parents are the traditional type...

They're very against my music and have voiced displeasure over my dream of becoming a big rock musician. They're pretty much against music as a career altogether.

But I'm lucky in the sense they're all musically inclined, so they let me do what I am passionate about. They voice their displeasure but they do not try to stop me, so yeah I can continue doing what I love.

But on the condition that all my guitar / bass / drums stuff I pay everything myself out of my savings. Which is why my gear is very humble... And another condition is that I get good educational qualifications which is something I feel is very reasonable.

So yeah I'm kinda lucky...

 

[Hydrofly]

My parents are pretty supportive. They sponsored my gear at the start, then paid for my iceman, effects i get it from my own savings, i guess i'm very lucky. They understand that guitar keeps me less interested in alot of things, getting attached being one of them. Of course i can't do something stupid like fail my exams cus spend too much time on guitar !

 

[fiqthefallen]

not all parents are reserved. obviously, they probably felt the same way as us when they were 'controlled' by their parents.

my parent seems to be cool in their heydays. my dad was a guitarist for a singer named A Ramlee and prob liked hard rock/ heavy metal before, while my mum used to be in the school choir and performed in clubs (pretty unclear about parents history tho... they're 39 years my senior!)

it's funny that even though my parents are musically inclined, i dont dare tell them i have a band, nor do they discourage me from having one. when i wanted to buy an elec guitar, my mum was very startled why i wanted one when i shld 'focus on studies', while my dad, initially startled, chilled and asked if i was getting myself a fender or something. damn... if only i actually inherited his washburn guitar...

for now, i do any music work secretly. now that i live with my sister, my parents are off my back, but (trying to) be a filial son, i still visit them every weekend...

 

[shinobi]

no matter what, the blood relations between you and your parents can never be broken. you cannot say the same for friends or even your spouse, in this day and age. that has to be of some significance to you.

i may be lucky in the sense that my parents dont prevent me from playing the bass, but perhaps maybe not so in other aspects. everyone has their problems.

what you have to do now is to prove yourself to your parents. and that will take time. because there may not be the opportunity to do so at the moment. but sooner rather than later they will come and you must take them, the chances to seperate the men from the boys.

 

[visa]

great to read everything, keep them coming

 

[rimuel]

my parents dont allow me to play guitar too.but its simple.just pay by myself.LOL

 

[rimuel]

My parents are the traditional type...

They're very against my music and have voiced displeasure over my dream of becoming a big rock musician. They're pretty much against music as a career altogether.

But I'm lucky in the sense they're all musically inclined, so they let me do what I am passionate about. They voice their displeasure but they do not try to stop me, so yeah I can continue doing what I love.

But on the condition that all my guitar / bass / drums stuff I pay everything myself out of my savings. Which is why my gear is very humble... And another condition is that I get good educational qualifications which is something I feel is very reasonable.

So yeah I'm kinda lucky...

typical parents indeed.exactly like mine.

 

[boozeoff]

both my mum&dad are pretty cool with me playing the guitar and stuff though. but i usually have to find excuses if I want to go jam with my bandmates cos my dad'll think it's a waste of money. sometimes i'll just head over to one of my bandmate's house cos she has everything there and i just have to lug my amp and guitar over. i even have to sneak out for these free jamming sessions cos though my dad is alright with me playing the guitar, he doesn't really encourages me to spend too much time on it. zzz.

 

[Alchemist]

my mom thot my emperor t shirt looks cool haha.

they noe i listen 2 black/death metal but they also noe tt i love the music not the culture tt comes along with it.

 

[JaarVis.]

well , im kinda lucky too. my parents encouraged me ta play an instrument. in primary school , i took up violin. wtf. ha. yea. then i stopped it cuz i was like , starting to listen to rock songs already . since young , i loved music. yea. then i purposely broke my violin so that they wont bother ta get me a new one. then i asked them if i could go for guitar lessons , they hesitated at first cuz they thought i'd stop learning and stuffs. but nahh. i stopped lessons though , and have been learning myself for 3 years plus. a year spent on lessons. so totals up to 4 . hmm. and all these years. ive been using a samick guitar that my dad bought for me. well , he said i could ask him ta get a new one for me . but i felt guilty on askin so much. yea. so i used my own cash ta get an rg370 and also a randall amp after sellin my self bought roland and my samick and o yea. a zoom g2 multi effect pedal which i bought myself too. well, my parents will buy em for me . its jus that i dun wan them ta spend too much on me. i noe i can take care of myself. but sometimes i jus take cash from em la. broke. ha. sometimes i feeel guilty askin them ta buy me even a soccer ball. they also support the fact tat i play soccer. they support me luh. they're great. but my dad has onli one thing to tell me . " I let u do anythin , and i get u everythin. but YOU show me results. " hahaha. he always tells me that. hmm. tats about my family i guess. and my mom LOVES bargaining. ha. thats all. o yea. one more thing.i never told em the real price of whatever i bought. for example the ibanez, i bought if for 600 , and i told my mum its 200. she starts scolding me for buyin an expensive item . and the randall amp i told her its 20 bucks when its 100. ha. and the g2 zoom effect pedal . i bought it for 150 and i told her 15 bucks. yea. all way lower . they dunno the price wad. so yea. thats the only problem with my mum. my dad wont voice out his point of views. he jus keeps everythin to himself. im not sure why. yea. thats all . great thread visa! cheers!~