satch really needs ur help

[satch]

firstly, thanks for ur time.

well, ive nv actually fully written a whole original song by myself. today i decided to do a full song by myself. well, purpose being, for memeroilia and also for my band xenon.

this recording isnt really the final product though, thats jst what i came up with, when i sent the recording to my bandmates, they said to keep it like that and it sounded cool to them. however, i feel contary, i feel that the song lacks something.....

so guys, pls help me out and tell me what u feel is lacking or what u think can be done to make it a better piece. thanks a lot.

ull get a cookie in return for ur kindness.

http://s26.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=10UCLR3LO5JN414RJS86WSCUVF

pls dont comment on the playing, haha, cos i knw that the playing sucks right nw, bt jst rushed to record a take to pass arnd for comments. the drums came from my drum machine btw.

 

[psionic]

heh the arrangment sounds like symphony of destruction...

 

[nitrovo]

a more technical drum beat and i rekon its awesome

whose that singing?

 

[satch]

psionic : any critics on hw to spice it up? btw i've nv heard symphony of destruction before. who's it by?

nitrovo : thanks man. thats me singing.

 

[psionic]

megadeth - symphony of destruction :supz:

 

[andrewtheshredder]

hey! nice try on ur first original!... can hear some powermetal influences in there!
maybe try adding some vocal harmonies or higher parts to make things just a little more decorated.... nice arrangements.... maybe add a anthemic and memorable chorus to the song. overall good job on ur first original!

 

[satch]

ah, psionic, haha, i think the vocals sound like yea? haha, bt seriously, ive nv heard that song before. nt really a fan of megadeth. haha.

maybe i should change it a bit to nt make it sound like dave.

 

[psionic]

hhah its just the structure is similar lah, anyway i do think better drums would make hte song nicer

 

[satch]

thanks andrew.

and yea., drums are defintely nt the final prduct of the song, the beat is from my zoom, haha.

 

[duskalways]

dear satch, i am not a guitarist. i am a pianist, so i hope you don't me commenting on your composition. i liked it and i especially enjoyed your improvisation from mid section onwards till the end. you've got a nice voice too!

 

[satch]

hey bro, no, i dont mind,everyone can give me advice man! haha, i need all the critics and comments i can get. haha. thanks for ur comments, bt do u feel that maybe something is lacking? haha. dunno man, everyone seems to feel its ok, bt i personally feel it need probably a chorus bt i jst cant fit one in....

 

[hay88]

sounds like those old sch after sch jams haha...8.5/10 sweet solos

 

[duskalways]

i am not good enough to suggest what kind of a chorus you might feel it is lacking, but i do know that sometimes too much of everything inside a piece of music makes me :smt119 so in that way, sometimes less is more! :wink:

 

[satch]

i am not good enough to suggest what kind of a chorus you might feel it is lacking, but i do know that sometimes too much of everything inside a piece of music makes me :smt119 so in that way, sometimes less is more! :wink:

AMEN!!!

 

[mykee99]

Yo...Bro!

For some reason i agree with: "it's remind me of Megadeth song"... :wink:
even i'm not a huge fan of Megadeth but for an instant i could hardly say that it's sounds like Megadeth.
But, you have some colour in you that everybody don't! so my suggestion put your colour in your songs,your own colour...the real you inside.So the song will tell about you.it's not the genre or style or notes or scales or techniques but colour...something that you feel deep down Bro that makes you different than others:wink:
The song itself,IMHO quite loud and hard one with nice movement,i believe you already push your limit to create this song but you need to put more of you in every song that you are going to create later.
All you need for this song is a smooth colour to make this song different with any others Heavy Metal songs.
That's only another point of view, don't take too seriously dude :wink:
Hope you can create or write down some killer heavy metal song in the future!
keep on writing dude!!!

 

[mulyadi]

its a nice one! yupz..but somehow...during your leads, like no 'back-up' rythm...maybe you try adding on a lil' bit of delay during the solo, and you can add harmonics here and there during that, i think i'd sound more 'alive'...but its a really good one! =)

 

[kaihernando]

cool can be better

 

[satch]

mykee : thanks a lot for ur advice man. what u said is really true in my opinion mykee

mul : ill try that when i redo the song.

kai : thanks for checking my stuff out again man. and thanks for the comments. post some of ur stuff soon??

 

[odioboi]

can do better. the idea is there. need to play it with perfection. but seems monotonous to me.

 

[satch]

thnks, yea, i felt that it was slightly monotone thats y i kept saying i feel it lacks something.....

i think what it needs is a chorus