I really like what you do. As usual the song and text are good. It not fair to judge on anything else since it's only you playing and singing there and a formal arrangment can be worked out when the time is really with backing voices and instruments.
Having said that I would like to say a couple of things more just in case you didn't notice them.
A couple of lines were completely swallowed, the word didn't make it out of you lips.
Sounded like you tuned the guitar down to an Eb. Noticed you had some problem getting those higher notes. I supposed you tried D and most probably had problem with a couple of low notes.
Noticed you have a vibrato in your voice, especially at the longer end notes of a line. That is very pleasant to hear, should work on that vibrato a bit more.
Though not necessary, try using an E9 ( taking that the guitar is tuned normally here), you know, the F# note on the 4th string and an A9, an open B string at the verse. Usually that expands the chords and gives a bigger sound.
Try taking some honey daily, it's a age old aid to strengthen and smoothen the vocal chord. It helped me and countless of others. It might help you too.
Great rhythm, it's one of my favourite. Ideas of the lead guitar, drums and bass section comes into my mind as I listen to the song. Would really like to play the bass to that song. You're a singer and song-writer of my heart man!
