Trombonist's Dictionary
conductor - n. One who has accepted the fact that he cannot play but has NOT accepted the reasons why.
pitch - n. What all the other instruments do not have.
string players - n. The ones with the earplugs. (Also saxophonists in jazz big band situations.)
Bad Singing - Joke
Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside.
Hurt and a little dejected, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?"
"Of course, Dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
Vocal jokes
Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?
A: Stage makeup.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?
A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target
Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.
Difference - Jokes
What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit ?
"Will the defendant please rise ..."
How is an orgasm like a drum solo?
You can tell it's coming but there's no way to stop it.
conductor - n. One who has accepted the fact that he cannot play but has NOT accepted the reasons why.
pitch - n. What all the other instruments do not have.
string players - n. The ones with the earplugs. (Also saxophonists in jazz big band situations.)
Bad Singing - Joke
Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside.
Hurt and a little dejected, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?"
"Of course, Dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
Vocal jokes
Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?
A: Stage makeup.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?
A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target
Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.
Difference - Jokes
What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit ?
"Will the defendant please rise ..."
How is an orgasm like a drum solo?
You can tell it's coming but there's no way to stop it.
