haha hey bro
i'm also self taught, i pick up basics from yamaha then i decided they too slow ... i already can do basic jamming they still at 8th note. dang. some people in the group very slow.
so i quit and jam along to songs. i tell you man, it's all in the feel. i practice and just let my imagination go wild, i come up with all sorts of beats and stuff that JUST SOUND RIGHT in your heart. you just know when it's right and not. like it sounds like crap when your off by even 1 beat. don't be too technical when drumming, especially if your a self taught. it just takes the fun out of it sometimes i think.
oh yes i can give you 1 tip. when doing a fill, say, example only, that is 1 4/4 bar only, play your bass drum along, quarter notes, so it serve as your 'hihat' or timekeeper during that fill. you know when to end then, and come into the main beat on the onbeat after the 4 bassdrum beats.
cheers, and have fun drumming, don't despair and just let loose.
of course, there are drum instructors also. think music lab quite good

hear alot of favourable reviews.