I actually like higher action... I personally uses .11
I tried .8 and .9 and they feel soft... does not have the "rock" feel.
Anyway, you still can bend with .11... you just need abit of getting used to it.
Somehow heavier guage sounds better to me... anyway... you can try down tunning to lessen the tension. You can also do a proper setup which will help indirectly... like lower the action and if you are hearing fret buzz, it could be due to a rough fret which can be solve by filing...
anyway good luck.