Black_Death
New member
yea..it sucks..
sheesh..why wud anyone write crap like tt? :x
sheesh..why wud anyone write crap like tt? :x
poetry/lyrics section
- Thread starter yy_fuctup
- Start date
;
Mmm okay. I didn't go Playground@Momo, ran outta cash, I might go Amplified.
Disobeying Fate
It started out red.
Flaming passion,all for you.
Breaking every world-set rule.
It was simple,everything I thought was true,
I'll do it,if it'll please you.
As blue skies turned to grey,
And as the rain falls from the sky,
The mask-colored paint washes off
And everything feels like a lie.
It pours harder,
The colors fade,
From red to blue,
All feelings misplaced.
It never felt real,
..but it never felt fake.
Now it feels so blue.
I can't help it,but I still feel for you.
Still stuck in this illusion you made,
That I can't get through.
You say I'm misunderstood.
In my heart,I'm lost on whats true.
Who was lying,me or you?
Or is fate's pen changing our story,
Tearing our pages apart?
I'll break the rules again,
If it keeps you here.
I'll ruin fate's story for me,
If it'll keep me with you.
Disobeying Fate
It started out red.
Flaming passion,all for you.
Breaking every world-set rule.
It was simple,everything I thought was true,
I'll do it,if it'll please you.
As blue skies turned to grey,
And as the rain falls from the sky,
The mask-colored paint washes off
And everything feels like a lie.
It pours harder,
The colors fade,
From red to blue,
All feelings misplaced.
It never felt real,
..but it never felt fake.
Now it feels so blue.
I can't help it,but I still feel for you.
Still stuck in this illusion you made,
That I can't get through.
You say I'm misunderstood.
In my heart,I'm lost on whats true.
Who was lying,me or you?
Or is fate's pen changing our story,
Tearing our pages apart?
I'll break the rules again,
If it keeps you here.
I'll ruin fate's story for me,
If it'll keep me with you.
Black_Death
New member
yy..dun write anymore poetry UNDERSTOOD?! :x
bboy2388
New member
honestly i think yy's poem is pretty nice, though it could do with probably being less direct i guess, but if you were to change it, it's no longer the same poem and will lose its meaning. keep writing. Not all poetry is meant to have a definite rhyme scheme or even look like conventional poetry, so i don't know what people are bashing you for. take this poem for instance:
William Carlos Williams: The Red Wheelbarrow
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Say what you like about it, but it's been lauded and appreciated by many with a literary understanding that far outstrips all of ours.
Keep writing yy. (but lose that damn pentagram seriously)
here's some of my own poetry:
The Price of Pride
The price of pride is loneliness,
to roam the world like a restless spirit,
never finding that which i seek from day to day.
Cursed to watch as the world and all that it holds
decays and suffers the endless corruption of our being here.
The herd leaves its devastating trail of injustice and
ignorance littered with the bodies of them noblest of us all.
They gaze now with blank unknowing stares,
now corpses,
hollow travesties of what we were once meant to be.
Where we were before
filled with love and compassion we are now
rotten
wasted
full of dead men's bones.
We have paved the way for an early death and
created our own armageddon.
Can we not turn back and see what great harm we have wrought
upon ourselves and upon the ones we love,
if we still know what love really is?
I see all this and yet
I am powerless to save anything.
A prisoner of luxury.
Corrupted by my blindness to the suffering that daily takes place around me.
I have nourishment that comes to me readily and regularly,
Clothes that others do not have cover my undeserving back.
I have books to read and a guitar to play.
Life is not hard to live.
It is hard to understand.
How often have the plights of children from the other world
crept into our content minds?
No one is a super man.
None may save the world.
None may will it and drive away the pain of millions.
No one can do great things.
One can only do little things, with great love.
Bearing in mind the suffering of them relative to us,
There is nothing within our physical means that is too great to do.
William Carlos Williams: The Red Wheelbarrow
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
Say what you like about it, but it's been lauded and appreciated by many with a literary understanding that far outstrips all of ours.
Keep writing yy. (but lose that damn pentagram seriously)
here's some of my own poetry:
The Price of Pride
The price of pride is loneliness,
to roam the world like a restless spirit,
never finding that which i seek from day to day.
Cursed to watch as the world and all that it holds
decays and suffers the endless corruption of our being here.
The herd leaves its devastating trail of injustice and
ignorance littered with the bodies of them noblest of us all.
They gaze now with blank unknowing stares,
now corpses,
hollow travesties of what we were once meant to be.
Where we were before
filled with love and compassion we are now
rotten
wasted
full of dead men's bones.
We have paved the way for an early death and
created our own armageddon.
Can we not turn back and see what great harm we have wrought
upon ourselves and upon the ones we love,
if we still know what love really is?
I see all this and yet
I am powerless to save anything.
A prisoner of luxury.
Corrupted by my blindness to the suffering that daily takes place around me.
I have nourishment that comes to me readily and regularly,
Clothes that others do not have cover my undeserving back.
I have books to read and a guitar to play.
Life is not hard to live.
It is hard to understand.
How often have the plights of children from the other world
crept into our content minds?
No one is a super man.
None may save the world.
None may will it and drive away the pain of millions.
No one can do great things.
One can only do little things, with great love.
Bearing in mind the suffering of them relative to us,
There is nothing within our physical means that is too great to do.
Black_Death
New member
gah..well..maebe u guys dunno..but..yy is a fren of mine..im juz pokin fun at her la.nothing personal.hahaha.
Black_Death
New member
did anione see me say tt?
HEH..nice try yy.. :smt011
HEH..nice try yy.. :smt011
The-Warlord
New member
War war war,
I love war.
I also love battle. Kill.
Metal metal, more machine guns for the kids
I love war kill.
8)
I love war.
I also love battle. Kill.
Metal metal, more machine guns for the kids
I love war kill.
8)
sleepykitty
New member
one day i bought a guitar
the guitar was pretty
i kept it at home
i didnt touch it for years
then it turned ugly
and i threw it away
the guitar was pretty
i kept it at home
i didnt touch it for years
then it turned ugly
and i threw it away
it really hurts
when i'm so close to you
yet it seems like you're miles away.
it really hurts
when i catch your eye in the mirror
yet i cant do anything but to look the other way
it really hurts
when i have so many things to clarify
yet i cant bring myself to tell you what's on my mind
it really hurts
when u dont say hi
yet when i know that its because i didnt do it too
it really hurts
when i hear about your new love
yet i have to feel happy for you
what is worse?
letting the silent distance break us up
or ignoring myself and your distorted impression of me
it really hurts
till
i am forced
to make a decision
when i'm so close to you
yet it seems like you're miles away.
it really hurts
when i catch your eye in the mirror
yet i cant do anything but to look the other way
it really hurts
when i have so many things to clarify
yet i cant bring myself to tell you what's on my mind
it really hurts
when u dont say hi
yet when i know that its because i didnt do it too
it really hurts
when i hear about your new love
yet i have to feel happy for you
what is worse?
letting the silent distance break us up
or ignoring myself and your distorted impression of me
it really hurts
till
i am forced
to make a decision
Release your inhibitions,
Loosen your fear.
I'm coming for you.
Get yourself here.
Star-lit night, to the solace of love I near.
Bared on your nest I give an exaggerated leer.
I am, your tainted bliss.
We've waited so long, for a time like this.
Trust in your lust,
Grind your halo of morality to dust.
I answer the prayers to your loneliness.
What you wish, you would recieve.
Star-lit night, to the solace of love I near.
Bared on your nest I give an exaggerated leer.
I am, your tainted bliss.
We've waited so long, for a time like this.
(don't ask, self-declared tainted theme for my art project next year :roll: )
Loosen your fear.
I'm coming for you.
Get yourself here.
Star-lit night, to the solace of love I near.
Bared on your nest I give an exaggerated leer.
I am, your tainted bliss.
We've waited so long, for a time like this.
Trust in your lust,
Grind your halo of morality to dust.
I answer the prayers to your loneliness.
What you wish, you would recieve.
Star-lit night, to the solace of love I near.
Bared on your nest I give an exaggerated leer.
I am, your tainted bliss.
We've waited so long, for a time like this.
(don't ask, self-declared tainted theme for my art project next year :roll: )
Crawldaddy
New member
Hmm.
Then it's their integrity on the line and your works being promoted for free.
Nothing should inhibit you from your creativity, so keep the poetry coming
Then it's their integrity on the line and your works being promoted for free.
Nothing should inhibit you from your creativity, so keep the poetry coming
