poetry/lyrics section
- Thread starter yy_fuctup
- Start date
Crawldaddy
New member
Hmm.
once upon a time a girl gave me a challenge to write a poem based on a theme she gave me on the spot. here was my (incredibly crappy) answer:
the ocean lay wide open before me
I had wandered far upon the seven seas
surviving on barnacles and seawater
sailing in search for my long-lost brother
then captain long john said to me
'are yer sure the way is clear to thee?'
I said with a solemn attitude
'pray do not differ when I'm in a rotten mood'
twenty leagues and more beyond, the colds stars led the way
the crew muttered behind my back but my heart never did sway
for in my mind's eye I saw beyond my brother waiting still
and I wished to meet him once again and have a splendid meal
suddenly a crewman's voice rang out
'pirates are on the way!'
we readied ourselves for a bold attack
and it seemed it would be a bloody fray
The battle raged back and forth
the victor in the end was our brave crew
and the enemy was then sunk below the waves
and the wind in our favour once again blew
btw the theme was "Barnacles and Pirates"
once upon a time a girl gave me a challenge to write a poem based on a theme she gave me on the spot. here was my (incredibly crappy) answer:
the ocean lay wide open before me
I had wandered far upon the seven seas
surviving on barnacles and seawater
sailing in search for my long-lost brother
then captain long john said to me
'are yer sure the way is clear to thee?'
I said with a solemn attitude
'pray do not differ when I'm in a rotten mood'
twenty leagues and more beyond, the colds stars led the way
the crew muttered behind my back but my heart never did sway
for in my mind's eye I saw beyond my brother waiting still
and I wished to meet him once again and have a splendid meal
suddenly a crewman's voice rang out
'pirates are on the way!'
we readied ourselves for a bold attack
and it seemed it would be a bloody fray
The battle raged back and forth
the victor in the end was our brave crew
and the enemy was then sunk below the waves
and the wind in our favour once again blew
btw the theme was "Barnacles and Pirates"
G
Guest
Guest
IM UP FOR IT..
im ready to contribute some poetry..hehee..
but its nt really quality stuff..well..used to write for a e-zine..
but have stopped since.
im ready to contribute some poetry..hehee..
but its nt really quality stuff..well..used to write for a e-zine..
but have stopped since.
G
Guest
Guest
come to tink of it..im not gonna post.hur hur.
sleepykitty
New member
beside my body
u lay
quiet, unmoving
sound does not affect you
but my soft whispers somehow do
i'll fall asleep in your eyes
and we'll both lay
quiet, unmoving
we'll let time pass us by
:lol:
u lay
quiet, unmoving
sound does not affect you
but my soft whispers somehow do
i'll fall asleep in your eyes
and we'll both lay
quiet, unmoving
we'll let time pass us by
:lol:
sleepykitty
New member
if the whole world is round
let our's be flat
at least we wont fall off
let our's be flat
at least we wont fall off
daryl
New member
sounds good. move this thread to the kopitiam section or someone start a thread there? here's one of my works
Void
I wrote you a letter without punc-
tuation. Words flow freely,
like the rivers of imagination as it
depicts the end of everything.
For aren't you already gone? The
whistle of steel trains resonating
in the air, hot steam gushing out of cold metal.
Isn't that what you do best?
You read me a story of true love in a false land;
but aren't we vulnerable when we're on our own?
Isn't the impact of fact practical, that we know so little,
yet assume so much?
this is from end2005 wow it has been such a long time
Void
I wrote you a letter without punc-
tuation. Words flow freely,
like the rivers of imagination as it
depicts the end of everything.
For aren't you already gone? The
whistle of steel trains resonating
in the air, hot steam gushing out of cold metal.
Isn't that what you do best?
You read me a story of true love in a false land;
but aren't we vulnerable when we're on our own?
Isn't the impact of fact practical, that we know so little,
yet assume so much?
this is from end2005 wow it has been such a long time
daryl
New member
here's another one from last night haha
Ethan Frome
Like snow that falls in my face
mistakes that felt so right
Perhaps winter was so cold it froze my heart
and Perhaps the slightest degree of warmth you gave
felt that a fire that thawed my senses
So maybe tonight I'll toss a coin
spare change in my pocket
to buy you out of my head
to keep you close to this lie I'm living
We're all living lies
Like pandemonium running round in my head
decisions that felt so wrong
Have you ever felt like you could have it better?
Have you ever felt like you deserved better?
So maybe tonight I'll flip a coin
spare change in my pocket
to pretend I have a choice
to make me feel like I want this
Run across the barren fields of snow and ice
make sure not to fall (you sure?)
make sure not to fall
Head straight for that old elm tree
your lips are sealed (it's the winter)
your lips are sealed
Ethan Frome
Like snow that falls in my face
mistakes that felt so right
Perhaps winter was so cold it froze my heart
and Perhaps the slightest degree of warmth you gave
felt that a fire that thawed my senses
So maybe tonight I'll toss a coin
spare change in my pocket
to buy you out of my head
to keep you close to this lie I'm living
We're all living lies
Like pandemonium running round in my head
decisions that felt so wrong
Have you ever felt like you could have it better?
Have you ever felt like you deserved better?
So maybe tonight I'll flip a coin
spare change in my pocket
to pretend I have a choice
to make me feel like I want this
Run across the barren fields of snow and ice
make sure not to fall (you sure?)
make sure not to fall
Head straight for that old elm tree
your lips are sealed (it's the winter)
your lips are sealed
gutturalpiss
New member
create a new thread in kopi-tiam. if can reach 20+ pages, mayb mr james will create sub-forum.
Crawldaddy
New member
Hmm.
Here's another of my compositions (the previous one I posted was rushed out in 15 min)
and it's you, you're all I see everyday and night
everything was out of place but you made it alright
and it's true, you're all I see when I sleep at night
nothing comes close to the feeling of you by my side
you know it has no reason, and no rhyme
but certainly you know that it's in the healing of time
though we're through, but what I feel deep down inside
is the feeling of times when I just held you tight
and tell me you want me baby to tell you more
but I guess it's never too late to reveal what's in store
and you can hear the song at http://fgg.dmusic.com under the title 'healing of time'.
Here's another of my compositions (the previous one I posted was rushed out in 15 min)
and it's you, you're all I see everyday and night
everything was out of place but you made it alright
and it's true, you're all I see when I sleep at night
nothing comes close to the feeling of you by my side
you know it has no reason, and no rhyme
but certainly you know that it's in the healing of time
though we're through, but what I feel deep down inside
is the feeling of times when I just held you tight
and tell me you want me baby to tell you more
but I guess it's never too late to reveal what's in store
and you can hear the song at http://fgg.dmusic.com under the title 'healing of time'.
SherT
New member
He never had a second look they never let him off the hook.
Tonight's the night, it's him for none other
tonight was the night, his finest hour.
/oh please, who would believe that?
Into the darkness he scurried
Past whispers and shadows and trees
Into the night he ran,
Ignoring the chill on the breeze.
/Now and then and past and beyond. Where the bloody,
has it all gone?
The sun's been gone for so damned long.
The night's so very fresh.
Time and tide and con of man
All of them
They mesh
/as the luminscence ascends the trees.
Strange are the sounds of night. Stranger yet, the silence of his plight
The voices carry off in the wind.
A rustle of leaves, the shiver
of air
Resounding everywhere.
Shapes and sounds
Making the rounds, throughout their forest lairs.
The voices beckoning within himself.
The voices from days he could (still) hear.
They scream and screech and shout and holler
Stifled by tight-roped fear.
"Who's there?" he cried, into the night
Nary a response to be heard.
"Couldn't be," he thought, drowning the chorus,
"Probably just a bird."
"Oh really?" they mused
from deep inside the trees.
Tonight my dear, remember your fear
It'll bring you To your knees.
/Silently he's sitting, upon a ridge.
Silently he sat, gaze fixed on the starless(sky)
silently he'll sit.
Why why why why what do you seek from me?
Why who what when why, pray tell, me?
Tonight's the night, it's him for none other
tonight was the night, his finest hour.
/oh please, who would believe that?
Into the darkness he scurried
Past whispers and shadows and trees
Into the night he ran,
Ignoring the chill on the breeze.
/Now and then and past and beyond. Where the bloody,
has it all gone?
The sun's been gone for so damned long.
The night's so very fresh.
Time and tide and con of man
All of them
They mesh
/as the luminscence ascends the trees.
Strange are the sounds of night. Stranger yet, the silence of his plight
The voices carry off in the wind.
A rustle of leaves, the shiver
of air
Resounding everywhere.
Shapes and sounds
Making the rounds, throughout their forest lairs.
The voices beckoning within himself.
The voices from days he could (still) hear.
They scream and screech and shout and holler
Stifled by tight-roped fear.
"Who's there?" he cried, into the night
Nary a response to be heard.
"Couldn't be," he thought, drowning the chorus,
"Probably just a bird."
"Oh really?" they mused
from deep inside the trees.
Tonight my dear, remember your fear
It'll bring you To your knees.
/Silently he's sitting, upon a ridge.
Silently he sat, gaze fixed on the starless(sky)
silently he'll sit.
Why why why why what do you seek from me?
Why who what when why, pray tell, me?
Okay the thing about this is there's too much info in one thread. It's very unlikely that people will bother reading every person's lyrics and then comment on them, when they are so overwhelmingly thrown at you.
How about we take a vote on who's for a seperate lyrics section? One like the Open Mic, where one lyric has a thread on its own, for critique. It'd be more constructive like that, I guess.
How about we take a vote on who's for a seperate lyrics section? One like the Open Mic, where one lyric has a thread on its own, for critique. It'd be more constructive like that, I guess.
Eh, make a poetry section, I'm all up for it.
Here's what I have , Finely Cheesed up lyrics
You were a butterfly, and you flew over the seas
Until one day you grew tired, and you let go of your wings
As you were falling I held you, in the spaces of my breaths
I said “You can’t let go again, because I can only hold so tight”
You see the sea is so large, so it’s easy to miss the land
But for every mound you fail to notice, a mountain will appear
And your eyes may grow weary from looking out so hard
But I’ll look for you, if you want me to
Your lips may reek of salt from all the air that you breathe
But I’ll kiss you with mint until all your breath turns fresh
Your words may be empty or filled with hurt
But I’ll take my smiles and fill you up
Because the night killed the daylight in a moment of cold
And the winds like a razor, cutting into your lungs
Your mouth will grow tired so breathe through your heart
It may get broken but at least you can talk, to me, about us
Your body’s wearing down so you lay down in grass
Cause you want to give up and just die in rest
But I’ll carry you over where the grass is greener
And I hope you will stay here, and rest with me
Don’t make a sound I want to die in a song
A song so quiet I cant even hear the words
Cause it makes no sense for any speech
When all the lights start to dim and we black out
Here's what I have , Finely Cheesed up lyrics
You were a butterfly, and you flew over the seas
Until one day you grew tired, and you let go of your wings
As you were falling I held you, in the spaces of my breaths
I said “You can’t let go again, because I can only hold so tight”
You see the sea is so large, so it’s easy to miss the land
But for every mound you fail to notice, a mountain will appear
And your eyes may grow weary from looking out so hard
But I’ll look for you, if you want me to
Your lips may reek of salt from all the air that you breathe
But I’ll kiss you with mint until all your breath turns fresh
Your words may be empty or filled with hurt
But I’ll take my smiles and fill you up
Because the night killed the daylight in a moment of cold
And the winds like a razor, cutting into your lungs
Your mouth will grow tired so breathe through your heart
It may get broken but at least you can talk, to me, about us
Your body’s wearing down so you lay down in grass
Cause you want to give up and just die in rest
But I’ll carry you over where the grass is greener
And I hope you will stay here, and rest with me
Don’t make a sound I want to die in a song
A song so quiet I cant even hear the words
Cause it makes no sense for any speech
When all the lights start to dim and we black out
Mobius
New member
How abt having a Songwriting/Lyrics Section?
Anyway here's my contribution:
LET ME BE
*Verse 1*
Let Me Be
Let Me Be Cold and Lonely
Let Me wallow in my pain and sorrow please
Leave me be
Leave me all alone in this world
I dont need no one to get me through this
*Chorus*
Take away your mask of deceit
I dont need no false companion
Take away your hypocrisy
I dont need no false concern
*Verese 2*
Go Away
Get Away Out of my sight
I dont need you to remind me I'm in pain
I dont need you
I dont need no bullshit fakers
I dont need no lies to comfort me no more
*Bridge*
False Concern...Concern...Need No more false concern
Get away...Go away....I dont need you no more
Anyway here's my contribution:
LET ME BE
*Verse 1*
Let Me Be
Let Me Be Cold and Lonely
Let Me wallow in my pain and sorrow please
Leave me be
Leave me all alone in this world
I dont need no one to get me through this
*Chorus*
Take away your mask of deceit
I dont need no false companion
Take away your hypocrisy
I dont need no false concern
*Verese 2*
Go Away
Get Away Out of my sight
I dont need you to remind me I'm in pain
I dont need you
I dont need no bullshit fakers
I dont need no lies to comfort me no more
*Bridge*
False Concern...Concern...Need No more false concern
Get away...Go away....I dont need you no more
heres mine. please comment on it. thanks
Lonely Dreams
Follow me to this lonely world of mine
Dreamt within the night
Where the clouds seem so dark
Yet feed off such beauty
With in the waves by the river
Soft smooth rocks seem to smile with a bright shine
Like a rainbows hue cast forth from the radiating stars of night
No tears shall be shed tonight
Only beauty within my loneliness
In these darkened woods in my dreams
Where the opening meadows flutter with invisible life
The silence so peaceful not even a beat of a heart could shatter it
So much beauty locked with in this deep cove of my dream
Lonely Dreams
Follow me to this lonely world of mine
Dreamt within the night
Where the clouds seem so dark
Yet feed off such beauty
With in the waves by the river
Soft smooth rocks seem to smile with a bright shine
Like a rainbows hue cast forth from the radiating stars of night
No tears shall be shed tonight
Only beauty within my loneliness
In these darkened woods in my dreams
Where the opening meadows flutter with invisible life
The silence so peaceful not even a beat of a heart could shatter it
So much beauty locked with in this deep cove of my dream
