Personal Favourite Jokes

[Crawldaddy]

Hmm.

during the second world war, an english, french and american soldier were captured by the germans who decided to just shoot them to avoid taking up prison space.

So one by one the captives were brought out to be shot. The first was the american who was pushed up against the shooting wall. He was about to be shot when he suddenly shouted "tornado!!!" to confuse the germans. Taken by surprise, the germans fled the compound and the american escaped.

Once they regained their composure, they brought out the french soldier to be shot. Picking up the tactics from the american, when he was about to be shot, he shouted out "locusts!!!". Once again the germans fled and the french fellow got away.

So now it's the English fellow's turn to be shot, he said to himself: 'if they can do it, why can't i?' and they pushed him up against the wall and as he was about to be shot, he shouted out...








































"FIRE!!!!"

ah well....

 

[teleholic]

understand what is irony? It's stupid how they killed themselves literally one after the other..

 

[SherT]

Five people are on a plane flight over the Himalayas, Lee Kuan Yew, Suharto, Mahatir, a student and the pilot.

Flying at a height of 20,000 feet, the plane suddenly loses power and takes a menacing dive towards the jagged peaks below.

The pilot decides that an evacuation would be in order, but then, to his horror, he realises that there are only four parachute packs on board.

Lee Kuan Yew is the first to grab a pack, and he goes, "I'm too important. Without me Singapore will die." before jumping off the plane.

Next, Suharto grabs a pack and goes, "I'm too important, without me Indonesia would die." before jumping off the plane.

Finally, Mahatir grabs a pack and goes, "I'm too important, without me Malaysia will die." before jumping off the plane.

The pilot and the student are left alone in the plane, and the pilot begins telling the student, "You go lah boy. I'm old already. You still have your entire life ahead of you. Leave me here and take the last parachute. Save yourself."

To which the student replies, "You siao ah you?? There's still two parachutes here. You come with me lah! Die for what?"

The pilot is shocked.

"But THREE people just jumped off the plane! How is that possible?"

"Aiya, that stupid old man just took my schoolbag and jumped off the plane."

 

[Guest]

:lol:

 

[Anirudh]

Q: Why do all cemetries have such high walls?






















































A: coz people are dying to get in


get it?

 

[boomdoom]

now that's the best joke in this thread. Period.

how can people dying be a joke?

very funny meh?