Personal Favourite Jokes
- Thread starter Giantballz
- Start date
Crawldaddy
New member
Hmm.
^^ Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!!!!
btw I am not dyslexic.
^^ Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!!!!
btw I am not dyslexic.
reyrey
New member
monkey god lost his way in a forest for few long weeks
during that period,he never see any living creature lurking around in the forest
when he made his way through the bushes,he saw a bear chasing a rabbit,the monkey god was delighted,finally he get to meet two of this creature...
and he started off his conv with those two
MG: stop fighting two of you,i'm monkey god and i shall grant two of you three wishes because you're the only living creature i've met for the past few weeks
bear: i want all the bear in this forest to be female,except me
MG: your wish is granted [all the bear in the forest was turned to female]
rabbit: ok,i want a helmet
bear: stupid rabbit,what's the helmet for?
MG: stop quarelling,you [pointing to bear],what's your second wish?
bear: haha,i want all the bear in the next forest to be female
MG: you're insane,but nevermind,i shall grant your wish,rabbit,what's yours?
rabbit: i want the faaasteeeeest motorbike in the world
bear: this rabbit is bloody crazy,a helmet and motorbike,what kind of stupid wish is that?
MG: enough! this is your last wish,better decide wisely
bear: i want ultimate pleasure! i want all the bear in this world to be female except me!!!!!!
MG: you are a sex maniac bear,and you rabbit,what you want?dont lose to bear,you must wish for something great too!!
rabbit: i want [while starting the motorbike and putting on the first gear] this bear to be a homosexual!!!!!! [and off the rabbit goes to someplace far" away]
lame?
during that period,he never see any living creature lurking around in the forest
when he made his way through the bushes,he saw a bear chasing a rabbit,the monkey god was delighted,finally he get to meet two of this creature...
and he started off his conv with those two
MG: stop fighting two of you,i'm monkey god and i shall grant two of you three wishes because you're the only living creature i've met for the past few weeks
bear: i want all the bear in this forest to be female,except me
MG: your wish is granted [all the bear in the forest was turned to female]
rabbit: ok,i want a helmet
bear: stupid rabbit,what's the helmet for?
MG: stop quarelling,you [pointing to bear],what's your second wish?
bear: haha,i want all the bear in the next forest to be female
MG: you're insane,but nevermind,i shall grant your wish,rabbit,what's yours?
rabbit: i want the faaasteeeeest motorbike in the world
bear: this rabbit is bloody crazy,a helmet and motorbike,what kind of stupid wish is that?
MG: enough! this is your last wish,better decide wisely
bear: i want ultimate pleasure! i want all the bear in this world to be female except me!!!!!!
MG: you are a sex maniac bear,and you rabbit,what you want?dont lose to bear,you must wish for something great too!!
rabbit: i want [while starting the motorbike and putting on the first gear] this bear to be a homosexual!!!!!! [and off the rabbit goes to someplace far" away]
lame?
vegecrackers
New member
i thought rey's joke was funny, hahaha..
reyrey
New member
ARCHERY CONTEST
once upon a time,a contest of archery was held in britain and every good archers from all around the world was invited to join it
thus,the contest begun
from swiss, a hero shot a mellon that was placed on top of a volunteer head
he proudly say ' I am William Tell'
from england,a hero shot an apple that was placed on top of a volunteer head
he announce to the mass 'I am Robin Hood'
from indonesia,a hero shot the volunteer head,instead of the orange that was placed on the head
he turned to face the crowd 'I am sorry'
once upon a time,a contest of archery was held in britain and every good archers from all around the world was invited to join it
thus,the contest begun
from swiss, a hero shot a mellon that was placed on top of a volunteer head
he proudly say ' I am William Tell'
from england,a hero shot an apple that was placed on top of a volunteer head
he announce to the mass 'I am Robin Hood'
from indonesia,a hero shot the volunteer head,instead of the orange that was placed on the head
he turned to face the crowd 'I am sorry'
fenderrules
New member
if you think the green golfball joke was funny, check this one out. a friend of mine told me this. damn funny
theres this hiker who was hiking somewhere thru the himalayas, and got lost. so he seeked shelter and help at a temple within the mountains. the monk in the temple let him stay for as long as he wanted until he could get his bearings right.
okay, so he's spending his first night there, and in the middle of the night he heard this sound going tok tok tok. the next morning, he came to the monk and asked what was that sound. "oh i can tell you, but first.....you must become a monk" the hiker agreed, and let him shave his head. the hiker, thinking hes a monk asked again. "patience my dear son, you must do something first before you are a REAL monk" the monk said. so the hiker set out to fufill his first task given by the monk; count every blade of grass in this world. he counted at and came back with the answer. he got it right, and he asked again. "another thing my son" the monk replied. "i want you to go out into the world and count how many rivers, streams, seas, lakes, oceans, including small puddles of water, are there". again the hiker went out and got it right, and returned to the temple with the answer. "very very good my dear son, but theres one last thing i need you to do before i reveal the sound to you. the monk then sent the poor hiker on his way to into the world to count how many strands of hair and fur are there on each and every human and animal. and excited, he came back with the answer and got it right.
"well done my son," the monk replied. "you have finally become a monk. now, this way let me show you whats the sound".
so the monk led him through a narrow corridor, and into a large room. he pulled a rope suspended from the ceiling, and it opened into a flight of wooden steps. climbing up, he turned left, went straight, turned right, and turned left again. from there, he opened a red door followed by a yellow door, green door, blue door and a purple door. turning left and going straight, he did the same as mentioned. and finally they came to this maroon door. and when they opened it, the hiker finally found out whats causing the sound.
whats the sound????
oh, i cant tell you cuz you;re not a monk.
GOTCHA!!!!! :lol: :lol:
theres this hiker who was hiking somewhere thru the himalayas, and got lost. so he seeked shelter and help at a temple within the mountains. the monk in the temple let him stay for as long as he wanted until he could get his bearings right.
okay, so he's spending his first night there, and in the middle of the night he heard this sound going tok tok tok. the next morning, he came to the monk and asked what was that sound. "oh i can tell you, but first.....you must become a monk" the hiker agreed, and let him shave his head. the hiker, thinking hes a monk asked again. "patience my dear son, you must do something first before you are a REAL monk" the monk said. so the hiker set out to fufill his first task given by the monk; count every blade of grass in this world. he counted at and came back with the answer. he got it right, and he asked again. "another thing my son" the monk replied. "i want you to go out into the world and count how many rivers, streams, seas, lakes, oceans, including small puddles of water, are there". again the hiker went out and got it right, and returned to the temple with the answer. "very very good my dear son, but theres one last thing i need you to do before i reveal the sound to you. the monk then sent the poor hiker on his way to into the world to count how many strands of hair and fur are there on each and every human and animal. and excited, he came back with the answer and got it right.
"well done my son," the monk replied. "you have finally become a monk. now, this way let me show you whats the sound".
so the monk led him through a narrow corridor, and into a large room. he pulled a rope suspended from the ceiling, and it opened into a flight of wooden steps. climbing up, he turned left, went straight, turned right, and turned left again. from there, he opened a red door followed by a yellow door, green door, blue door and a purple door. turning left and going straight, he did the same as mentioned. and finally they came to this maroon door. and when they opened it, the hiker finally found out whats causing the sound.
whats the sound????
oh, i cant tell you cuz you;re not a monk.
GOTCHA!!!!! :lol: :lol:
Tribalcast
New member
Your mother was Gurmit Singh. End of joke.
daryl
New member
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.
His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.
His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
DarknessFury
New member
Tribalcast said:
I actually thought this was funnier than the monk joke, hahaha...
headwan
New member
Black Box
Three old black ladies were getting ready to take a plane across the ocean.
The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gonna wear me some hot pink panties before I gets on that plane."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the other two asked.
The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dere laying butt-up in a corn field, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady says, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some fluorescent orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the others asked.
The second lady answered: "Cause if dis here plane is goin' down and I'm floating butt-up in the ocean, dey can see me first."
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties......
"What? No panties?!" the others said in disbelief.
"Dat's right; you heard me. I'm not wearing any panties," the third lady said, "cause if dis plane goes down, dey always look for dat black box first."
Three old black ladies were getting ready to take a plane across the ocean.
The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gonna wear me some hot pink panties before I gets on that plane."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the other two asked.
The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dere laying butt-up in a corn field, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady says, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some fluorescent orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the others asked.
The second lady answered: "Cause if dis here plane is goin' down and I'm floating butt-up in the ocean, dey can see me first."
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties......
"What? No panties?!" the others said in disbelief.
"Dat's right; you heard me. I'm not wearing any panties," the third lady said, "cause if dis plane goes down, dey always look for dat black box first."
not gd at it but i'll try...
here goes...
i name the characters...
Ali n Alo (brothers)
Ali is the eldest among both brothers,he got married to tis hot chick,Babe. Alo got turned on most of the time n always take the chance to peep n stuff at her hot sis in law.
1 day during dinner, Ali finish his meal quickly and excuse himself as he is tired n want to turn in early. Alo took the chance and ask Babe,
"Sis, i cant tahan liao. brudder is goin to slp now.let me have a fast 1 wif u (sex)."
"no cannot!!! i dun wan" replied Babe.then she left the table and wen upstairs.
weeks gone by and Alo reli cant tahan till 1 day... Ali n Alo finished work(both gardeners) n reach hm... Ali went straight to the toilet to shower n relax. Alo,as usual saw his chance coming n went up to Babe's room n said... "now is the time.Ali wun noe.he is showering... pls do it wif me..."
"no way... wait ur brudder scold..." answered Babe
to his dissapointment he walk away n to his room and ehem....
the next morning, Ali n Alo left the house for work... the got out from the house to the porch n Ali remembered he left his carkeys. Alo was told to get it from Babe as Ali nids to arrange the pots on the van. Alo go as told. his mind went crazy again at the sight of Babe in her nitedress.
he said to babe,
"tis is it... the best chance. Ali is downstairs.he wun noe. lets do it!"
"no... u r my bro in law... wait Ali scold" babe said.
Alo went to the window and shouted to his bro,
" Ali!!! Babe dun wan to give me!!!!"
after hearing tat Ali shouted bck,
"Dear!!! give it to him Please!!"
Alo smiled and look at Babe... yeah... his dream came true
:smt007
here goes...
i name the characters...
Ali n Alo (brothers)
Ali is the eldest among both brothers,he got married to tis hot chick,Babe. Alo got turned on most of the time n always take the chance to peep n stuff at her hot sis in law.
1 day during dinner, Ali finish his meal quickly and excuse himself as he is tired n want to turn in early. Alo took the chance and ask Babe,
"Sis, i cant tahan liao. brudder is goin to slp now.let me have a fast 1 wif u (sex)."
"no cannot!!! i dun wan" replied Babe.then she left the table and wen upstairs.
weeks gone by and Alo reli cant tahan till 1 day... Ali n Alo finished work(both gardeners) n reach hm... Ali went straight to the toilet to shower n relax. Alo,as usual saw his chance coming n went up to Babe's room n said... "now is the time.Ali wun noe.he is showering... pls do it wif me..."
"no way... wait ur brudder scold..." answered Babe
to his dissapointment he walk away n to his room and ehem....
the next morning, Ali n Alo left the house for work... the got out from the house to the porch n Ali remembered he left his carkeys. Alo was told to get it from Babe as Ali nids to arrange the pots on the van. Alo go as told. his mind went crazy again at the sight of Babe in her nitedress.
he said to babe,
"tis is it... the best chance. Ali is downstairs.he wun noe. lets do it!"
"no... u r my bro in law... wait Ali scold" babe said.
Alo went to the window and shouted to his bro,
" Ali!!! Babe dun wan to give me!!!!"
after hearing tat Ali shouted bck,
"Dear!!! give it to him Please!!"
Alo smiled and look at Babe... yeah... his dream came true
:smt007
vegecrackers
New member
Jem007 said:
how can people dying be a joke?
Similar threads
