OM: Broken - slow rock piece

[fibredrive]

hey all;

here's a piece i wrote some time back. radio friendly song really, i think. solo at the end done by my friend not me. i wish only.
any comments / feedback is most welcome! any ideas u wanna leave behind, or ways i can improve will be much appreciated. structure, mix, phrasing etc... just press the play button in the webbie.

thanks for your time and patience in advance!

http://www.mixposure.com/song.php?songid=9907

God bless,

 

[BlackMoo]

LOVELY. I'M IN LOVE.

 

[sofyan]

Wow the quality is awesome man. The song is really great.

 

[ob]

wow....... i think this song will get lots of airplay if it were to hit the airwaves, a great song and radio friendly.... it stays in the mind... and it makes people sit up and say ..... wow who is newcree....?

... sounds abit creed..... and the solo.. wow... like tremonti on one last breath...

gd work...!!

 

[pooo]

Power :smt023

 

[fibredrive]

thanks for all the encouragements and very kind words folks! really appreciate that you took time to listen to it. solos were done by my friend jason, someone i look up to. started learning guitar at the same time but he took off in leaps and bounds and i got stuck with power chords...hehe
thanks again for the listen!

cheers

 

[siva]

beautiful !!!! the solo is sweet man !!

and nice vocals ..

GREAT JOB !

 

[fibredrive]

hi siva! thanks for the listen! appreciate it! cheers

 

[Wan]

The song is good man...and the guitar playing rocks big time!

 

[turbochicken]

ooh the quality is near industrial standards.

and the arrangment's nicely spaced out. the chorus reminds me of creed.

you have quite a nice voice too.

just that, erm, i don't like the song.

 

[fibredrive]

hi wan! thanks for the listen! appreciate it!

hi turbochicken! no worries, thanks for listening all the same and for your honest comments. appreciate it!

God bless all!

cheers

 

[EmPtYsOuLz]

hi.....i was surfing the forums in sch when i came across ur song.....showed it to my frens...one of them commented that the lyrics were making it sounds an m2m song....but all of them said it was good...

but i felt it was really good and loved it!! :lol:

keep up the good work!

 

[fibredrive]

hi there, thanks for the listen. and for your help in 'advertising' me to your friends. hehe. am glad everyone liked it, brings joy to the songwriter to know that there are some who actually like what i write. heh.
as for m2m...erm...who that? sorry, a bit dinosaur...keke...
hope to churn out some more songs for everyone's enjoyment!

cheers!

 

[purplehaze3691]

It is a very nice radio friendly song , everything is done nicely but it still lack the omph as in , I will never remember anything in the song after 1 day, will just be like anyother good song out there , hope you get what I mean .
Keep writing these good songs , I am sure lots of people there loves your songs very much

Cheers
purplehaze3691

 

[soft]

"the omph" mentioned by purplehaze might be fix by a more powerful vocal. the current singing is too 'safe', that's why the overall song sounds just alittle before perfection.

also, for the ending, try to arrange vocal + guitar solo together. and the last few words, do a 'talking' between the vocal and guitar.

"Forever" voice
"Forever" guitar
"Forever" voice
"For---e---ve---rrr" guitar
"My friend" voice" vocal + guitar

if you can find this person to sing the song, it would be perfect.

 

[fibredrive]

It is a very nice radio friendly song , everything is done nicely but it still lack the omph as in

hi there; thanks for the listen and the honest opinions. i know exactly what you mean. its something i guess which most artists and songwirters face. take a cd for instance, a good cd normally means 1 or 2 good songs in it for me, i tend to find the rest of the songs in it forgettable, except x japan, i find all their songs happening. heh. anyways, i do hope to learn more in this whole process, so critical comments are most welcome.
cheers!

 

[ChanMin]

oh that indian guy with the epi lp custom.. i rmeember him . think i saw him once at soundmix studios... he damn good at doing that Creed voice thing... its kinda like singing while gritting your teeth

 

[fibredrive]

"the omph" mentioned by purplehaze might be fix by a more powerful vocal. the current singing is too 'safe', that's why the overall song sounds just alittle before perfection.

hi james,

thanks for the tips. i did try, while still recording this piece, to vary the ending a little. but everything turned out blech because firstly, my vocal range is limited, and i hardly know anyone who has a good voice willing to record for me. so yep, turned out, my voice is just a means to an end.
i know what ya mean by safe, got the same comments, and recently i've been trying to vary my singing style a little. add a little more edge to it. but i guess some things, i just ain't got the knack nor ability for. heh.
cheers

 

[fibredrive]

he damn good at doing that Creed voice thing...

he looks the part. wonder how much he will cost per hour....heh

 

[SpaTanS]

wonderfully, beautifully done ... :lol: 2thumbsup !! n\/m

yeah, like soft state, the ending + vocal together with the solo ... personnally, think it'll b better with not to fade it.

recording nicely done