Domestic Abuse

[TidesOfBlood]

things-to-do in ascending order

1. abuse stops, likely through police.
2. counsel all.
3. XXX - consequences, and best case scenario reconcile.

that should be the chronological flow of events.

 

[RudimentalDrummer]

Betsybug, yes you are right & wrong in certain ways. Councellors does & will “CORRECT” the emotional state of mind in helping the girl. Also in order to do a good councelling job here, they will tell the girl to try convincing her parents to come down (where the councellor will talk to all of them) – because councelling will only work and be effective when all parties give and take..

For this girl case it will not work because just as she does not want this case to be reported, she will indefinitely not want the Councellor to talk to her parents here (wait kenna wallop again). The only person she disclose to is her this trusted friend (so she will not go for councelling - as more people now knows about it - and she wont know what will happen next - so this might make things worst - as she will silence herself and not even breath a word after this experiences...maybe of telling her friend here anymore future incidence)

I know this, because I went through everything (the whole process) with my friend’s daughter…It was her step-father who abuse her and her mom was my-late friend’s wife.

 

[betsybug]

Rudi:
"Councellors does & will “CORRECT” the emotional state of mind in helping the girl."
OK, my bad - I expressed myself inaccurately here. Of course counselors will do the brain-washing (!) thing. But IMO these professionally trained people will know what needs to be done first i.e. stopping abuse and making sure the girl is fully aware of her rights and options. They are a friendly shoulder to cry on when she may not have many people to turn who are experienced in the proper handling of such scenarios.

pf:
its not as if her family relations are terribly great at the moment
Fair point.

Both, my point is that we may not really know all that is going on here (it's coming to us 2nd or even 3rd hand). Don't get me wrong. I'm not doubting the veracity of what is being posted but sometimes important info gets lost in the transmission especially when things are complicated. For example, do we know why the parents act that way, is the daughter just a passive victim, and so on. Let the professionals (SCS, FSC, MCYS) handle it, and this is not the police unless it is an emergency (I believe the police themselves will also say this). In any case, the TS now has some options made clear to him/her, and therefore the friend as well.

 

[rengaw]

Thread starter, 2 questions.


1) You'd rather see her die from internal bleeding/extreme physical hurt/manslaughter (voluntary or involuntary)? which might happen though these may be extreme cases.

2) Or you do the "bad guy's" job and report it to the authorities (police/MCYS whatever helps her best) and maybe one day help her family reconcile or at least prevent the Question 1 from happening.

 

[growlingsoulpup]

I will try to persuade her to attending counselling if I can. She is quite a stubborn character. If I do bring the matter to the police, she'd probably deny everything and shut up. Which would REALLY screw everyone involved royally.

Yeah. Thanks for the advice. I will try to do the best I can, because she means a lot to me.

 

[gutturalpiss]

You will be reporting this as an outsider. Someone has already provided an example - neighbour. You could do the same, as maybe someone who is aware of a possible abuse case via another friend. The police will listen to you on this matter, they will act on the case as if it's a new assignment and not just a tip-off. Sure, your friend may suspect you. But if she has relatives, other friends, it's unlikely her abuse is entirely top secret.

It's time for you to be an anti-hero, like Zaraki Kenpachi (please don't ask who this guy is).

 

[ahkiatt]

=Betsybug

Starvation(I'm not sure about this), assault, physical abuse, those are criminal offences, there are no valid reasons for parents to do that.

Hey growingsoulpup, you speaking to a counsellor yourself to get tips on how to convince your friend to receive counselling. They would probably know a tip or two.

 

[shredrat]

prevention is better then cure. 999

 

[Vaiyen]

i feel sad that such people are allowed to have children.
Every couple who wants to conceive should go through some kinda psychological test.

 

[empihsrow]

Calling the police... I will prefer if someone is to talk to that girl and ask her about her plans. Of course, someone who is professionally trained. Like a counselor.

Get her to decide on her own. It's her liberty.

But of course, when things get worse[I hope it doesn't], it's beyond her liberty to decide what's best for her.