singer_archer,
May I give a little of what I observe in what you said? It seems that there are 2 things you are saying - 1. you love music, 2. you want to make music your career.
You really want to make your career something you like to do - ie music. That's why you tried to marry both of these together.
My suggestion is not to put both of them together - yet. Like any career, we get trained for it. One goes to school to study, then go for some kind of higher education, then get a job and get training for it. Music is no exception. Studying and getting trained for it (as a career esp) takes a long time. It is slightly different from other careers in that it is not just head knowledge that you acquire - it is art.
You're confused because on the one hand, music is what you like. But then you need to eat and earn for a living. What you like to do may not be what you need to do for a living, at least at this stage. By forcing your love for music into a career, you endanger your interest and may eventually kill it. You're so engrossed that you're already starting to draw a circle around your social life.
Better to first separate these 2 entities. Easiest way is to first get a piece of paper and jot down in 2 columns. First - what your skills are: what you have learned in school, what you have done, what you can do in the work force. Are you good in computers? Are you good at numbers? What did you study previously? This may not be what you're really interested in, but it is OK at this stage. Second column - jot down what you like to do. Music is obviously one of them. Any other interest in your life?
Then take one thing at a time. In the skills part, you can start either to - look for a job that best suits your skills, or start to get further training to improve that skills. This is important. You want to develop every aspect of your life - not just in music. You have to think long term (you're only 27 - what will you be doing when you're 47?). For the interest part, you also want to develop it but in a different way. If you really want to make it your career, you have to think - do you have the skills necessary at this stage, musically? If not, then it is not your career - yet. Develop it. You may even want to consider going to music school. But if not, you can still develop it at your own pace - not the super-fast speed you're trying to attain now. Art takes time. Develop it as an interest is sometimes better to try to develop it as a career. The motivations are different and the results can also be drastically different. Many in this forum do music as their hobby and I must say many are really good at it - almost can become their career. That's because of the motivations behind it - they love music and does it not because they must, but because they want to.
Sorry for this rambling. I'm late and I have to run. Can't put my thoughts into a nice sequence. But I just want to encourage you that you're OK. Just take some time to analyse yourself and skills.
