As a fellow softie and a drummer, we welcome you with an open arms.
About your qn regarding the drumset, first qn will be, what is ur budget?
If ur first priority is just to get a beginner's set without caring about the brand, any drums will do. Be it Carlos, Lazer, Inova, etc.. These sets are easy to obtain and their replacement parts are available easily.
If U are into brand concious, then I would suggest Yamaha Rydeen Series.. I have personally played them and they sound really great.
Actually, all drums are constructed to withstand constant pounding. It just depends on the player.
What one could do after getting the drums is to replace the stock heads with those available in the market. Eg; REMO, Evans, Attack, etc. These heads sounds better than the stock ones.
For cymbals, get urself either Zildjian ZXTs or Sabian's B8.. Come in packs of hihats, ride and crash. A really good investment for beginners.
Hope that I've answered some of ur doubts and best of luck in your search.