Hey there Magekim, sounds like you're going through a rough period....
I myself went through a period like that, where I was without a band for close to two years.
Before that, I was in and out of bands where somebody thought they were superstars, and the band eventually upped and left.
Like most of the forumites here, I'm also self taught, much like you are, so you really are not alone in this world.
Take heart, cos although it's hard to get into proper bands, the fun of being a bassist is that you learn the most when you band hop, cos being the pulse and soul of the band, we have to be adaptable.
At the end of the day, once a bassist plays with enough people and matures musically, he or she would have no shortage of offerings for places in bands.
I'm sure some of the more experienced forumites here have had that experience.
In the meantime, just keep at it, and remember that as a bassist, we play bass because we love to be the heart of the music, not because we have to be in a band to be popular (unlike some guitarists, cos we are NEVER in the spotlight.)
Cheers.