Hi guys,
I have had the distinct displeasure of playing with Slingbass. I feel morally obligated to disclose the facts of what transpired so that people who are considering whether to play with him will be fully informed of what they can expect.
We started playing together about 7 months ago. At that time, I was playing with another guitarist, drummer and a vocalist. Over a couple of months, the other original band members withdrew due to work commitments. We continued to look for suitable band members, with me conducting most of the search. Eventually, I found a vocalist, and asked a long-time friend to join us on guitar. Slingbass brought to the mix the drummer from his other band (who is an excellent drummer).
Our original intent was to get a lineup and develop a set list, with the intention of playing out once every three months or so. About 2 months ago, I responded to an ad looking for a guitarist. I informed Slingbass of my intention to audition for the other band, to which the commitment would be to play out on Fridays and Saturdays, three times a month with one weekend off. Slingbass, being acquainted with the members of the other band, commented that they were a very busy band, but told me that he wished me luck. About a month later, the other band told me that I was accepted. When I relayed the message to Slingbass, he gave me an ultimatum, and told me that I would have to choose between the two bands, and that he would not allow me to play in both. I told him that it was my responsibility to manage my time, and that if I was given an ultimatum, I would choose the other band. I clearly articulated that I did not think I would be unable to manage my time between the band that played regularly, and the band with him, which at this stage, barely had a list of 10 songs, and had only jammed with the full line up about 3 or 4 times. Prior to this, I had met every commitment for the band, made all rehearsals, initiated practices, and transcribed songs and arrangements. I particularly remember having to write out the structure for Accidentally In Love, after he complained that the songs was complicated. I certainly did not think it was anywhere near complicated.. but different folks, different strokes. I specifically said that if he no longer wanted to play with me, I would respect his decision, but I certainly did not agree with his assessment of the situation.
At this juncture, he ceased talking to me entirely, without even acknowledging my final comment. It must be added that by this time, we were meeting regularly outside of the band, about once a week with our respective spouses. To the outside observer, it would appear that there would be what is conventionally known as a friendship there, that that even extended to our respective spouses. Rather than exercising basic human decency, and letting the band members know that we had a disagreement about the level of commitment and he would like me to leave, he did something far less expected. He sent an e-mail to the rest of the band, excluding me, informing them that I told him I was quitting the band, that I had joined the busiest band in Singapore, and that I would only be able to practice on Monday's from 3-5 pm. This was, of course, untrue. When I found out about the e-mail, I sent a message to everyone in the band, including him, stating the nature of our earlier conversation, and then I withdrew from the band, as I did not want to be involved into a power struggle, especially over a band that had jammed with the lineup only 3 or 4 times, which had never even come close to a gig.
I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie... but then, he turned around about a month later, and did the exact same thing to the other guitarist. The other guitarist happened to be away on holiday when Slingbass was organizing another practice, and informed him of his schedule. Slingbass then, again unilaterally, sent an e-mail to the drummer and vocalist, and told them that the other guitarist had quit. Same shit, different day.
As far as his bass playing goes, he is a competent, if rigid bass player.
Certainly, he knows how to run his band. If you're happy to play by his rules (100%, no compromises), then you may indeed find playing with him a rewarding experience. However, it appears that the moment he feels that he does not have 100% control over your schedule, he has no qualms about "firing" you from his band, and fabricating reasons to the rest of the band members while cutting you out of the loop. If you feel comfortable playing with someone like that, by all means, please do contact him. But be warned, it seems that what happened to me AND the other guitarist, could most certainly happen to you.
Please feel free to contact me, either by PM or out in the open, if you wish to clarify any part of this story.
I do sincerely hope that no SOFTie has the displeasure of being treated as an object, as I and the other guitarist have.
PS: He may be wondering why I am choosing to raise this issue now, a couple of months after the events. The reason is simple. If he had done that to me and me alone, I could perhaps assume that the falling out was attributable to some personal disagreement which I am not aware of. But then he does the exact same thing, to the exact same group of people. I won't touch on personal details, but my own opinion is that this trait of his is pervasive throughout other aspects of his life. In that regard, the problem is no longer about the disagreement he and I may have had. Through his conduct, he has made it a problem about the way he treats people in general. Had he not been looking for new band members on SOFT, there would be nothing for me to warn people about. But since he has chosen to resurface and get up to his old tricks again, I think it's only fair that the community have fair warning of his modus operandi. I am also posting this publicly to give him the chance to clear the air and defend his reputation, if he truly believes he has nothing wrong. I won't be sneaking sending e-mails to people behind his back, as he does, because it's simply not the right thing to do... even if he has no qualms about doing it.
