lame joke of the day
- Thread starter Tripper
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hifi_killer
New member
guitarman78 said:
sorry i dont get it.. care to explain?
ok stole this from a friend of mine, in our clique he is the king of lame jokes. here it goes.
in a town of mexico there was a horseman. he will usually lie a little outside town under a tree beside his donkey. he is well known to be able to predict the time.
so 1 day a traveller comes along and of course he has heard of the horseman's well known reputation. he wanted to give it a test, with a watch in his hand he walks over to the horseman. amigo, what time is it? the horseman then stretches his hand out and lifts his donkey's balls, and went, "4.15pm"
the traveller of course was shocked and didnt believe it. so he wanted to test the horseman again. after close to an hour he walks back to the horseman and asks again, "amigo, what time is it?" the horseman does his ritual of lifting the donkey's balls and went, "5.10pm"
the traveller this time had nothing else to say but ask, "AMIGO! HOW DO YOU DO IT?!"
the horseman replies, "oh.. when i lift the donkey's balls i can see the church clock."
in a town of mexico there was a horseman. he will usually lie a little outside town under a tree beside his donkey. he is well known to be able to predict the time.
so 1 day a traveller comes along and of course he has heard of the horseman's well known reputation. he wanted to give it a test, with a watch in his hand he walks over to the horseman. amigo, what time is it? the horseman then stretches his hand out and lifts his donkey's balls, and went, "4.15pm"
the traveller of course was shocked and didnt believe it. so he wanted to test the horseman again. after close to an hour he walks back to the horseman and asks again, "amigo, what time is it?" the horseman does his ritual of lifting the donkey's balls and went, "5.10pm"
the traveller this time had nothing else to say but ask, "AMIGO! HOW DO YOU DO IT?!"
the horseman replies, "oh.. when i lift the donkey's balls i can see the church clock."
MichaelAngelo
New member
i got this from the fish forum tat i frequent...lol....
SherT
New member
A guy was in Spain to watch the bullfights.
As he walks out of the stadium, he is drawn towards a nearby restaurant by the fragrant aromas wafting out of the front doors. He walks into the restaurant, and sits down.
At this point, he notices the guy sitting at the table next to him being served big, juicy bull's balls, pan-seared to perfection. Mouth watering, he summons the waiter and orders the same dish.
"I'm sorry Senor," the waiter told him. "We only have one bull per fight, and these fights only happen once a month. We CAN however, place you on the waiting list and we'll contact you when you turn comes."
Returning hom from his vacation, the man brags to his wife that he will soon be taking her on a true gastronomic experience, and proceeds to extoll the Bull's Balls that they would soon be dining on.
Finally, after a long wait of 2 months, the man receives a call from the restaurant.
Sitting down at his table, the very same waiter serves up a platter covered by a shiny, silver lid. The man gleefully rubs his hands as he and his wife wait anxiously for their cuisine to be uncovered.
However, when the plate covers are removed, the man is shocked to find two shrivelled pieces of meat lying sad and deflated on the bare platter.
Angrily, he summons the waiter once again.
"WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? THIS IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT THE LAST GUY HAD! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!"
Calmly, the waiter replies,
"Well Senor, sometimes the bull wins..."
As he walks out of the stadium, he is drawn towards a nearby restaurant by the fragrant aromas wafting out of the front doors. He walks into the restaurant, and sits down.
At this point, he notices the guy sitting at the table next to him being served big, juicy bull's balls, pan-seared to perfection. Mouth watering, he summons the waiter and orders the same dish.
"I'm sorry Senor," the waiter told him. "We only have one bull per fight, and these fights only happen once a month. We CAN however, place you on the waiting list and we'll contact you when you turn comes."
Returning hom from his vacation, the man brags to his wife that he will soon be taking her on a true gastronomic experience, and proceeds to extoll the Bull's Balls that they would soon be dining on.
Finally, after a long wait of 2 months, the man receives a call from the restaurant.
Sitting down at his table, the very same waiter serves up a platter covered by a shiny, silver lid. The man gleefully rubs his hands as he and his wife wait anxiously for their cuisine to be uncovered.
However, when the plate covers are removed, the man is shocked to find two shrivelled pieces of meat lying sad and deflated on the bare platter.
Angrily, he summons the waiter once again.
"WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? THIS IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT THE LAST GUY HAD! I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!"
Calmly, the waiter replies,
"Well Senor, sometimes the bull wins..."
ok.... here's a LAME joke..... but doesn't necessasarily mean that I am lame.....
ok so the lone ranger and tonto (his faithful apache indian sidekick) was at a bar.... having a quiet drink.....
when someone burst into the bar and said... ' lone ranger! your horse just collapsed! its lying on the ground with its feet in the air!'
the lone ranger then went outside and yes! his horse WAS lying on its back.... he proceeded to check its vital signs and finally said.....
'ahhh... its nothing.... its just collapsed from heat stroke..... we just need to cool it down..... tonto! run round and round fast to create some cool wind'
tonto started running... while the lone ranger went back into the bar to finish his drink....
a few minutes later, the stranger came into the bar again..... and sat down next to the lone ranger....
'what is it this time pardner?'
'oh nothing..... you just left your injun running!'
ok so the lone ranger and tonto (his faithful apache indian sidekick) was at a bar.... having a quiet drink.....
when someone burst into the bar and said... ' lone ranger! your horse just collapsed! its lying on the ground with its feet in the air!'
the lone ranger then went outside and yes! his horse WAS lying on its back.... he proceeded to check its vital signs and finally said.....
'ahhh... its nothing.... its just collapsed from heat stroke..... we just need to cool it down..... tonto! run round and round fast to create some cool wind'
tonto started running... while the lone ranger went back into the bar to finish his drink....
a few minutes later, the stranger came into the bar again..... and sat down next to the lone ranger....
'what is it this time pardner?'
'oh nothing..... you just left your injun running!'
MichaelAngelo
New member
lol, pepper, thats what u can do in O level maths, if u dunno how to solve. Maybe the ang moh will give u marks for creativity..
:lol: hahahahahaha....bull fight!!! :lol:
:lol: hahahahahaha....bull fight!!! :lol:
drummar-buah
New member
why did the chicken cross the road?
to buy a piece of cloth and calculator and pencil and eraser and a bamboo pole and a needle and a thread so that it can make a wind sock and calulate wind speed...
WTF!!!! sheeesh.. lAME SIAK!
to buy a piece of cloth and calculator and pencil and eraser and a bamboo pole and a needle and a thread so that it can make a wind sock and calulate wind speed...
WTF!!!! sheeesh.. lAME SIAK!
MichaelAngelo
New member
The following is a true life scene that happened in class when i was in sec 1.
Teacher(very angrily): CLEMENT! YOU HAVE NOTHING BETWEEN YOUR EARS!
Clement: Teacher, got ear wax...
wahahaha.... :lol:
Teacher(very angrily): CLEMENT! YOU HAVE NOTHING BETWEEN YOUR EARS!
Clement: Teacher, got ear wax...
wahahaha.... :lol:
guitarman78
New member
assaulted ... assorted .... get it? Ok it's lame.
form a sentence with 3 words .... deduct, defence, defeat ....
deduct jumps over defence with defeat.
SherT
New member
A state coroner walks into the mortuary and is greeted by the sight of 3 smiling corpses.
He walks over to the first corpse, and is joined by resident coroner.
"Ok, what have you got for me?"
"Bill Clinton. 60. Died of a heart attack."
"Then why the heck is he smiling?"
"He was in bed with his lover when he died."
The state coroner nods, and covers up the body.
"And who is THIS guy?"
"Fidel Castro, Sir. Died of lung cancer."
"Then why the hell is HE smiling?"
"He was smoking the finest cuban hand-rolled cigar found on the market today, when he died."
The state coroner nods again, and covers up the body.
Moving on to the third body, the state coroner again asks,
"Who is this?"
"Mahatir, Sir. Died when he was struck by lightning."
"Ouch, didn't that hurt at ALL? Why is HE smiling?"
To which the resident coroner replied,
"He thought he was getting his picture taken."
He walks over to the first corpse, and is joined by resident coroner.
"Ok, what have you got for me?"
"Bill Clinton. 60. Died of a heart attack."
"Then why the heck is he smiling?"
"He was in bed with his lover when he died."
The state coroner nods, and covers up the body.
"And who is THIS guy?"
"Fidel Castro, Sir. Died of lung cancer."
"Then why the hell is HE smiling?"
"He was smoking the finest cuban hand-rolled cigar found on the market today, when he died."
The state coroner nods again, and covers up the body.
Moving on to the third body, the state coroner again asks,
"Who is this?"
"Mahatir, Sir. Died when he was struck by lightning."
"Ouch, didn't that hurt at ALL? Why is HE smiling?"
To which the resident coroner replied,
"He thought he was getting his picture taken."