vernplum
New member
Vernon Plum (not his real name) is from Singapore, but was born and raised in the UK. This confuses a lot of people, since he looks like Jackie Chan, but when he opens his mouth, he talks like Hugh Grant. He moved back to Singapore 2 years ago, which confused his parents who had moved to London in order to get away from Singapore. In the long run, his own children will most probably be confused and will have to spend small fortunes on airfares.
Vern is a reasonably accomplished guitarist having been playing almost 20 years. He owns and has owned a multitude of different instruments over the eons, but presently has a small menagerie of guitars. Current #1 is a stunning 50th Anniversary Deluxe Fender Stratocaster. He also owns a beautiful natural finish Ibanez S570, a Baby Taylor Acoustic and 2 Classical guitars, one good, the other crappy. He has just sold a very nice Laney Valve combo amp because it was too heavy to have shipped here from London. He aspires to buy a Mesa Boogie amp (most likely an F-Series) and even has the money for it tucked under his pillow. All he needs now is for somebody in Singapore to start stocking them except for that dreary place at the edge of Sim Lim which has two models and a grim-faced miserable man who runs the store whom you wouldn't want to buy from unless you were really desperate. Truly though, Vern *is* bordering on the "really desperate" (he has no amp currently) and looks to Swee Lee to come charging in as the white knights in shining white armour and send him a notification e-mail to let him know they are ready to take his cash.
Vern, as mentioned, isn't too bad on the guitar (I should know, I've seen him play). His favourite guitarists of all time are probably Allan Holdsworth, Yngwie Malmsteen and Jimmy Page, though he gave up trying to be like them years ago and started to search for his own improvisational voice. This tactic has shown varying results, but progresses somewhat, albeit slowly. His proudest personal moments include transcribing and playing the "Stairway to Heaven" solo on his first guitar - a Fender Catalina acoustic (looked cool, sounded poo) and also transcribing a death-defying solo from the first Alcatrazz album on the track Kree Nakoorie by Malmsteen. Transcribing this solo is one thing though; playing is another.
This year he began to take classical guitar lessons - something he has been meaning to do for many years, but never got the time to do. He loves it dearly as a new avenue and outlet, and enjoys tapping into the rich body of work that exists to which he was previously blind due to his inability to read music. He is gradually getting better and recently passed a beginner's grade exam. This was a comical experience since his peers at the exam waiting room were all budding little Julian Breams and John Williamsesesesss who were all going for more advanced grades than Vern - with an average age of 10 and an average height of 4 feet . Vern is 34 and almost 6 feet tall and was repeatedly asked if he was the father of one of the other students. This, nevertheless did not deter him. To level the playing field, Vern scowled menacingly at the children, thus making them too nervous to pass, and making him appear a relatively shining star to the otherwise jaded examiners who wished they were at outside at an S-league soccer game. Parts of this paragraph may not be true.
Vern's CD collection consists almost entirely of guitar oriented music, 75% of which is offensively heavy metal. This is another surprising thing that people who bother to look may discover, since Vern is apt to coaxing striking and lyrical melodies from his instrument which belie his demonic musical influences. Also, he has never killed anyone, though he has given the occasional 'dirty look' to people who jump shopping queues. True though, Vern did once have very long hair at university, wore denim, leather and studded belts. He shudders to recall these misguided attempts to attract females and lays the blame firmly at the door of the Heavy Metal journals and magazines who did a good job of making people believe that Metallica 'looked cool'.
Vern played in a band about 4 or 5 years ago. It was reasonably fulfilling to an extent, but he suffered from being surrounded by cretins in the bass and drums department. Egomania also reared its ugly head on occassion and Vern is embarassed to admit that he was not entirely guilt free in this matter. Nevertheless, now he has seen his true calling on the instrument, which is to noodle happily away to nobody but himself and make new little patterns and progressions and tunes and melodies and harmonies and rhythms which makes him very, very happy indeed. If this can be accompanied by a cold beer, then this satisfies his idyllic notion of a 'good time'.
Vern is a reasonably accomplished guitarist having been playing almost 20 years. He owns and has owned a multitude of different instruments over the eons, but presently has a small menagerie of guitars. Current #1 is a stunning 50th Anniversary Deluxe Fender Stratocaster. He also owns a beautiful natural finish Ibanez S570, a Baby Taylor Acoustic and 2 Classical guitars, one good, the other crappy. He has just sold a very nice Laney Valve combo amp because it was too heavy to have shipped here from London. He aspires to buy a Mesa Boogie amp (most likely an F-Series) and even has the money for it tucked under his pillow. All he needs now is for somebody in Singapore to start stocking them except for that dreary place at the edge of Sim Lim which has two models and a grim-faced miserable man who runs the store whom you wouldn't want to buy from unless you were really desperate. Truly though, Vern *is* bordering on the "really desperate" (he has no amp currently) and looks to Swee Lee to come charging in as the white knights in shining white armour and send him a notification e-mail to let him know they are ready to take his cash.
Vern, as mentioned, isn't too bad on the guitar (I should know, I've seen him play). His favourite guitarists of all time are probably Allan Holdsworth, Yngwie Malmsteen and Jimmy Page, though he gave up trying to be like them years ago and started to search for his own improvisational voice. This tactic has shown varying results, but progresses somewhat, albeit slowly. His proudest personal moments include transcribing and playing the "Stairway to Heaven" solo on his first guitar - a Fender Catalina acoustic (looked cool, sounded poo) and also transcribing a death-defying solo from the first Alcatrazz album on the track Kree Nakoorie by Malmsteen. Transcribing this solo is one thing though; playing is another.
This year he began to take classical guitar lessons - something he has been meaning to do for many years, but never got the time to do. He loves it dearly as a new avenue and outlet, and enjoys tapping into the rich body of work that exists to which he was previously blind due to his inability to read music. He is gradually getting better and recently passed a beginner's grade exam. This was a comical experience since his peers at the exam waiting room were all budding little Julian Breams and John Williamsesesesss who were all going for more advanced grades than Vern - with an average age of 10 and an average height of 4 feet . Vern is 34 and almost 6 feet tall and was repeatedly asked if he was the father of one of the other students. This, nevertheless did not deter him. To level the playing field, Vern scowled menacingly at the children, thus making them too nervous to pass, and making him appear a relatively shining star to the otherwise jaded examiners who wished they were at outside at an S-league soccer game. Parts of this paragraph may not be true.
Vern's CD collection consists almost entirely of guitar oriented music, 75% of which is offensively heavy metal. This is another surprising thing that people who bother to look may discover, since Vern is apt to coaxing striking and lyrical melodies from his instrument which belie his demonic musical influences. Also, he has never killed anyone, though he has given the occasional 'dirty look' to people who jump shopping queues. True though, Vern did once have very long hair at university, wore denim, leather and studded belts. He shudders to recall these misguided attempts to attract females and lays the blame firmly at the door of the Heavy Metal journals and magazines who did a good job of making people believe that Metallica 'looked cool'.
Vern played in a band about 4 or 5 years ago. It was reasonably fulfilling to an extent, but he suffered from being surrounded by cretins in the bass and drums department. Egomania also reared its ugly head on occassion and Vern is embarassed to admit that he was not entirely guilt free in this matter. Nevertheless, now he has seen his true calling on the instrument, which is to noodle happily away to nobody but himself and make new little patterns and progressions and tunes and melodies and harmonies and rhythms which makes him very, very happy indeed. If this can be accompanied by a cold beer, then this satisfies his idyllic notion of a 'good time'.
