I Fell In Love With My Stapler!!

[roninriot]

Today I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when I suddenly turned to look at the stapler on my desk.

It was at that precise moment that life came into focus. While I was blurry eyed before, I was suddenly very in touch with my feelings.

And that hard, shiny object smiled at me.

It was then that I fell in love with the stapler on my desk.

I'm not talking about "Ah I love this stapler! It binds these pieces of paper together beautifully!"
I'm talking about hard, hot passionate romantic feelings for my stapler.

We laughed, we talked, we dance a little bit in the office as well and at the end of the day, I even ventured to ask for a kiss.

Have you guys ever fallen in love with your staplers too?

Yours,
Levan

 

[AgingYouth]

Only my next-door colleague's calculator...

She's an adulterous bitch. And I <3 her for it...

 

[AEnimic]

Had something for a stapler before.

It was a painful affair.

 

[AndrewN]

Dude... I'm speechless... Congratulation !!! You lucky bastard !!

**Turn on "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong**

 

[Ikiru]

Only a 50-cent coin.
Our separation was so painful, I'll never love again.

 

[snuffleupagus]

I left my ex-stapler becos she was a bitch and kept acting like a know-it-all when it came to stapling.

 

[Hunderworld]

are you ok? u fell in love with a stapler!. did u knock ur head or smtng? or is this another spam?

 

[BonAparte]

Today I was sitting at my desk minding my own business when I suddenly turned to look at the stapler on my desk.

It was at that precise moment that life came into focus. While I was blurry eyed before, I was suddenly very in touch with my feelings.

And that hard, shiny object smiled at me.

It was then that I fell in love with the stapler on my desk.

I'm not talking about "Ah I love this stapler! It binds these pieces of paper together beautifully!"
I'm talking about hard, hot passionate romantic feelings for my stapler.

We laughed, we talked, we dance a little bit in the office as well and at the end of the day, I even ventured to ask for a kiss.

Have you guys ever fallen in love with your staplers too?

Yours,
Levan

I feel you man. I fell in love with my water bottle last week, and a month ago, with my English teacher's purple marker.

 

[RoRK]

BonAparte: I feel you man. I fell in love with my water bottle last week, and a month ago, with my English teacher's purple marker.

If that's you in the avatar, then please report to my office ASAP, I have a near exact replica of the said marker - and it doesn't run out of ink.

Speaking and thinking ,of staplers and their like, I began to reminisce of my addiction to clams and their orgasmic effects. I RIKES! :mrgreen:

 

[Gracia]

So how does it feel like to be kissed by a stapler?

 

[dir]

staplers are a fickle bunch, ask for their hand in marriage and they'll run off to the nearest cool-looking mug!

however if you're talking about passionate love-making, only the shiny, hard but flexible body of a stapler can provide for such an unforgettable night of pure bliss and unbridled joy...

 

[roninriot]

Ok so here is what happened
I drove her (the stapler) home.
And when we reached her place, I was like
"You're so cold towards me tonight. Is everything ok?"
and she was like
".... (click).....(click)...."

"Did I make you angry? Tell me what I can do to make you feel better"

I then proceeded to rape her with my lips and fingers.
When I kissed her cold hard skin, I felt a piercing pain
I started to bleed
But I assumed that, this was the bittersweet taste of true love.

My heart is so punctured.

Can somebody help me please?

 

[RoRK]

Ok so here is what happened
I drove her (the stapler) home.
And when we reached her place ...

My heart is so punctured.

Can somebody help me please?

Eat more clams! :-D

 

[fgl]

Dude, could have been worst ... U cud have fallen for your stapler's neighbour - the chio bu hole puncher ...

 

[RoRK]

Bro fgl, iin all my lifes, I've yet to see a chio bu pole puncher. BUTTTTTTTTT I've seen and unfortunately experienced a few fugly pole pumpers.

All I cans says toos bro ron-the-riot is to eat more clams. He be strong like a lion. He will be a He-Man.

He will soon eat staplers and clams for breakfast!

 

[wylde]

since the thread is about staplers

 

[dir]

Ok so here is what happened
I drove her (the stapler) home.
And when we reached her place, I was like
"You're so cold towards me tonight. Is everything ok?"
and she was like
".... (click).....(click)...."

"Did I make you angry? Tell me what I can do to make you feel better"

I then proceeded to rape her with my lips and fingers.
When I kissed her cold hard skin, I felt a piercing pain
I started to bleed
But I assumed that, this was the bittersweet taste of true love.

My heart is so punctured.

Can somebody help me please?

it's alright, many people bleed too during their first night with the stapler.

it's nary a common thing to know but the trick is to find the sweet spot between the underside of it's phallic-like body, away from its teeth and its cold hard skin and go to town from there.

if it clicks unstoppably and excitedly, you know you're doing it right!
remember, be gentle and use much love

 

[dir]

since the thread is about staplers

[img-staplerbeast]

*grabs crotch*
man that beast sure can staple my papers anytime!

 

[M.S GaXx]

As Steven Lim once said:“你们不要欺负我的陈冠希（Edison Chen)"
Need i say more?

 

[AgingYouth]

I then proceeded to rape her with my lips and fingers.
When I kissed her cold hard skin, I felt a piercing pain

Holy shit! Is this the new Sammyboy forum?!

Will this forum get banned by MDA?

Will my points ever be upped?