My advice is: muscle both strokes (PLAY both strokes) until you can't muscle them anymore, then do it somemore. If at that point you feel like your hands are gonna fall off, then rely a bit on the rebound.
This way you can do doubles anywhere, snare, tom, even your carpet and it will sound dynamically consistent. Eventually you can learn how to relax and rely on the rebound a bit more, but it will still sound good.
Drum corp people do this all the time, that's why they sound so clean. Don't listen to the drummers in the move Drumline. They are super messy. Go for DCI shows that feature corps such as the Blue Devils. Vicfirth.com has plenty of short clips.