Here's my self composed song :)

[Acousticjun]

Hey musicians,
Im new here..Name is Junyang. Have an original composition called Journey 行程 to share, it's in Mandarin... Hope you all don't mind.

Do have a listen, will really appreciate it!
right here: http://acousticjun.blogspot.com

Thanks!

 

[rand]

I shall give you mine honest opinion. I like the lyric as it is meaningful and well structured and by listening to it, it tell me that the singer is emo-ing and what he emo about.

Hmm... but the tune is too mono prehap you got the ring in your head but unable to express with your voice. And I couldn't find any portion of your song that make a nice ring~

 

[Acousticjun]

ah.. yah.. thanks Rand. I know what you mean abt the song not having enough of a high point to it..
Will keep that in mind.

 

[rand]

don't let my comment disappoint you. I am not very good with instrument nor can play at your standard. Believe you can work on it.
Reason I said is mono cos it contain 3 to 4 song I hear before and abit too much of common tune inbetween.
Ur 3rd 6th and 9th line got a obvious tune from a chinese song... forget what is the name. Ur 2nd part of chorus last 2 lines "Tell yourself not to turn back and continues to walk straight" something is weird... not sure how to explain but it kinda destroy the feel build from ur starting. Ur lyric context is excellent prehap u wanna change some of the wording to suit the tune especially that 2 lines.

 

[-blink-]

hey, first thing, composing is not easy, so i congratulate you for actually composing a song... ok secondly, i thought your voice was not bad.. can improve on the higher notes. lastly, song was too slow and long for me, not that much excitement. yeah and i agree with rand, change the chords or do some interesting variations, cause the lyrics have quite nice.

 

[l0u5y]

hey this recording u sound a bit like lin yu zhong. and its si nian not shi nian. Your overall song form does not fit a how a chinese pop song usually go by. Dun use a bridge unless u know how to write one. Ur bridge does not sound like a bridge at all. It sounds more like a verse than a bridge. However, I like the overall melody, and your lyrics is good too. I would change some of the melody lines in the verse though. And also, your melody rhythm is a bit too repetitive, so your song gets a little boring after a while. You might wan to play around with the rhythm here and there. After probably editing a few times, get an arranger to arrange it for u, and get a demo recording of it.

 

[l0u5y]

btw, it depends on wat u wan to be. If u wan to strictly stick to songwriting, just write melodies, if u wan to arrange ur own music which i dun suggest u do so, get an arranger who will rewrite the chords for u, set the tempo right as rand and blink mention, everything for u.

 

[Acousticjun]

btw, it depends on wat u wan to be. If u wan to strictly stick to songwriting, just write melodies, if u wan to arrange ur own music which i dun suggest u do so, get an arranger who will rewrite the chords for u, set the tempo right as rand and blink mention, everything for u.

okay.. many thanks.. I think the rhythm and chords do need some variation into the song. Will work on that

Do you know of any such arrangers that you're talking abt?

 

[eggshell89]

i like the melody and the intended feel of the song. but i think the whole song is alittle too safe and 'neat'. maybe add a few more punch(es) to several notes or something? lol. nice try though