Help me review this! Alice in Wonderland inspired track


New member
Greetings softies,

I was clearing out my old files when I stumbled across this piece of music which I had written almost 10 years ago. I remember being high as a ****ing kite when i was writing this. I had just finished rewatching alice in wonderland with a friend and was inspired to write something based off that. I picked up my guitar and this came out in half an hour. Also within the folder was a text file, it was something I've written to go along with the music. It isnt lyrics but a narration to the music.

I want to hear your thoughts on this! Dont mind the horrible playing and missing of notes, as stated i was so high when i recorded this. I've added some pictures to go along with the music just so i can make it a video. But, I am horrible at this and am using WINDOWS movie makers, the trail version, which explains the water mark lol. Im sorry.

Anyway, here it is:

Instructions: Play video. Once video starts playing, read the following:

This is a story about Alice in wonderland. If you read this at an average reading pace according to the music, it should be almost in sync with the music which I've created.

This story begins with Alice taking a nap under a tree. As she closes her eyes, she feels the warmth of her kitten, Dinah, on her chest. She hears the breeze rustling the tall grass but she is suddenly awoken by the sound of footsteps running. She opens her eyes to see a white rabbit dashing across her. Startled and curious, she rises to her feet and follows the rabbit into the forest. As she follows the rabbit, deeper and Deeper through the trees, she is completely oblivious to how far she is going into the unknown. Her eyes only set upon the white rabbit as her curious mind pulls her deeper. Manuvering through the vines and stumbling upon overgrown roots, Alice realises she is lost. But then she sees the rabbit entering a small hole. Unable to stray away from her curiosity, Alice follows suit, barely squeezing into the hole. The hole feels like its getting smaller and smaller as she crawls through it. Alice is almost stuck but she sees the end of the tunnel. Using her hands to claw her way, Alice finally emerges on the other side. "IM LATE IM LATE" screamed the rabbit. She has never seen anything like this before, the rabbit could talk!?. Just like in the books she read, she is in Wonderland. Weird houses, flowers and clocks hung from the trees above. In awe as she makes her way down the winding path, following the foot tracks of the rabbit, "IM LATE IM LATE IM LATE!" screamed the rabbit again.

She is greeted by the sight of a majestic castle in the distance. However, something about this castle seems amiss. A gloom was surrounding the castle. She sees the white figure of the rabbit run into the castle entrance. Alice makes her way forward and soon enough, she is at the castle doors. Taking a deep breath, she took her first step into the dark, eerie castle. Step by step she made her way through the empty halls. She sees a field in the middle of the castle with what seems like castle guards gathering in it, but they werent no ordinary guards, they were cards. One figure catches her attention, the Queen of hearts. Curious Alice took her first step onto the field, but as soon as she steps on the grass, every head turned towards her, she could feel the stares piercing right through her..... They just stared. Just stared.

*pause and wait, until music intensifies into a fast pace*

The Queen raises her hand and points at Alice, "An intruder..... OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!" Every guard roared and dashed towards Alice with their spears. Triggered by her flight response, Alice flees in the opposite direction. Sprinting down every hallway, she could'nt figure her way out. She is met with a dead end. Leaning her back against the wall and watching the guards coming closer, she notices a small door beside her, one too small for the guards to fit through. Without hesitation, she opens the door but there isnt a room or floor or ANYTHING, it was pitch black. Desprate and with guards right on her tail, Alice crawls through anyway falling into the abyss. With clocks and books swirling around her, she hears the screams of the Queen and guards grow softer and softer, until *poof*. Alice lands in a bright sunny field, on a bed of white daisies. She is emotionally greeted by peace, with no more fear running through her veins. Looking around to get her bearings, she is not able to figure out where she is. But wherever she was, at least she knew that she is now safe from the Queen and guards.

Alice lies back down in the bed of flowers, with her heart still racing, she takes in a deep breath and closes her eyes, trying to relax.. breathing slowly, falling asleep as quickly and she was startled awake. The peace, quiet and serenity filled the atmosphere and she went deeper into her sleep.

*Pause and wait for music to change*

*As music changes*

"Alice, alice ~" a sweet female voice calls from a distance. "Alice, deary. Why wont you come on back in, I've made you breakfast. And school starts in an hour, you shouldnt be out playing with Dinah. Come grab breakfast sweetie." Answering in a crackling morning voice, Alice replied "Yes mom ~" as she yawns, "Just... five... Just five more minutes...". Closing her eyes and tucking herself comfortably in, Alice smiles and winks at Dinah.