family problems

[shreddedsweeper]

anyone have them? I think tonight i might be leaving my house again . . .

Since young, im been beaten up by my family members. The worst was when they hit my head against the wall repeatly. During sec 4, i couldn't take it and leave home and did part time job everyday after school and weekends, and after 6 months they called police, im forced to go back. Now it had been years, the problems seem to be coming again, my siblings had been backstabbing me, and my parents been only scolding me every single bit of stuff. For example, they scold me for opening the door for being noisy? Of cause they didnt hit me like before, but i really cant stand them. Do you forgive pp like them? I simply cant think of any valid reason to do that, they didnt even bothered to say a "proper" sorry to me.

my parents never gave me pocket money before, never except paying school fees. All my money came from part time or my grand parents who dote me alot, i dont know what are they thinking about . . .

Do you think I should move out? I dont understand how i pissed them off, i didnt even bother to speak to them

 

[snuffleupagus]

Sorry to hear that.

We can't tell you what to do as we are not going through it like you are.

Whatever you choose to do, remember your priorities in life (Eg, Education, etc) and do not for-go it now due to your current circumstances.This state of affairs may be only temporary so do not be rash about your decisions,Think thru carefully first.

At this stage , you may feel vulnerable to bad company and other easy way- outs to vent your frustrations, but just be level headed about decisions you take and think long term.

See if you can talk things out first and then from there decide your next course of action

 

[rx7]

Well that is really kinda fucked up.. If i were you i'll fuck them up seriously.. What have you done to deserve this kind of treatment.. If you dont have the heart to scold them or retaliate, i suggest you tell the police about it.. Do they hit your siblings? And what the fuck, why do your siblings backstab you.. Are you guys on good terms with each other?

 

[strats]

If i were you i'll love them up seriously..

easy to say if it's not happening to you.

You could move in with your grandparents. At the time when they were beating you, you could have gone to the police for child abuse.

 

[17wil]

i have to seriously say, my parents do beat me to the point they really dont care.
but i think its up to you whether u wanna report to police. best is go live with grandparents for a while. as we said, we arent in ur situation, cant tell u what to do.

 

[shreddedsweeper]

I was still young than, the beating did get lesser when i was secondary school days. I cant really report them, I will feel that i let down my grandparents, they had been talking to me for awhile during that time. I dont wanna tell my current problems to my grandparents, Im afraid they will get worried again. My parents only hit me, not my brother or sister.

I think i should just bear with it, im going to amry soon. I guess im one of the few rare pp who is waiting forward for ns

 

[strats]

I'm looking forward to NS too get your degree and move out pronto if you can't stand them. that's what my friend did at 17.

 

[rottenramone]

..

its sad that you have to come to this forum to talk about this. but nevertheless, we softies (or at least myself) can offer you words of comfort when you're lonely.

but still, inho, if u think its best to move, do so.ns will offer you some time to think about things as well. we can't be angry forever.

 

[shreddedsweeper]

i got no one to talk to im always very happy and chatty person in real life, i dont wish to let any one of my friends to know that about. After talking these out, it really feel better alot

 

[wyldeboon]

take it easy bro... things will get beta... u will be a stronger person. move on. talk to any1 close if u have probs

 

[shred5]

Like any normal "wear and tear" human beings, we are affected by our surroundings. Be it physically or spiritually.

There's a saying, "Water being cut also cannot be separated." :wink:

Or in my mother toungue, "Air di cincang tak akan putus."

No matter how much U dislike ur family members, they are still ur flesh and blood.

As u said that U are waiting for NS, maybe it will offer U some salvation somehow or another.

Be patient. That's all I can say.

 

[nitrovo]

Defend yourself from physical abuse. Then maybe they will realise. If not, they will keep doing it becuase they know your not going to do anything and your afraid of them -> they have control over you.

I was reading on another forum yesterday about a guy who was baeten as a kid by his dad and it was always in the kitchen.... it stopped when he was big enough to defend himself..remember it was always in the kitchen, so see into his method of defence however you want.

how old are you?

 

[teleholic]

shreddedsweeper no matter how bad things get, never give up music, i'm sure it's one of your few solaces and escapes..and remember there's always SOFT and all your friends here , so u are not alone..

 

[vahsu]

Hi so sorry to hear that....we can bear if our colleaugues or students ill treat us...but family ppl doing it is very horrible.

But actually I wonder why r they beating u. Did u ever discuss this problem with them. Normally if parents donot treat their children properly then (i) either they r having some psychological/attitude problem (ii) they think u brought bad luck to them (iii) it is step mother or father (iv) or they think if they r very strict with u...u will be learn to be very disciplined and work hard or (v) u irritate them a lot ( again this may not be intentionally...they might get irrriated for no reason)

Don't know what is ur case exactly....If I were you and if I feel that parents are torturing for WRONG reasons ( please think unbiasedly if they r really wrong and if u cannot solve the problem by discussing it with them) I will complain to the police. Donot let any one supress u r rghts. If ur parents donot behave ideally, it is their mistake. Why should u suffer ?...

Wish u good luck...pls let us know in case u r problem got solved(hopefully) or becamse still worst. donot feel bad in mind...express it to ur close frnds or atleast anonymously like this...

 

[shred5]

But!! Watever U do, don't follow Russel Peters example! :wink:

 

[DarknessFury]

You tell your parents and siblings to f**k off or you could call the police or something...don't worry, it takes less than 23 minutes to get to your house...

 

[HeartRockSingapore]

Home is a very special place where LOVE suppose to be. It is a place where we go back for understanding and protection.

In your circumstances, I would think that leaving your home is the best thing to do NOW, not ruling out that sometime in the future there will be reconciliation and forgiveness. The very sight of one another will only make things worse.

What you can do is....get to the nearest family service centre and seek assistance to get a personal protection from the police or the courts. Seek the assistance from volunteers group which may be able to offer you some temporary lodging. Take things one step at a time.

Most important thing to bear in mind is, provide a space in your heart for future reconciliation and forgiveness.

 

[Beefy]

I believe you around the age group of 17-20.

Anyway, if you feel that 'somebody's gonna get hurt real bad', be prepared to defend yourself. Just don't raise your hands first. The person that starts the violence usually have poor communication skills thus he/she uses fists/weapons to communicate.

Anyway, NS would do you good. Your accomodation will be taken care of once you sign on as a regular .

Cheer up!

 

[Tribalcast]

You tell your parents and siblings to f**k off or you could call the police or something...don't worry, it takes lesser than 23 minutes to get to your house...

23 minutes huh. Hmm.

 

[Guest]

but in the meantime, somebody gonna get hurt real bad...