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fgl

Well-known member
The fgl sonic research centre has upon exhaustive research discovered the following information. Mature flatulence (old fart) vs youthful flatulence (young punk’s fart).
These statistic were yielded after exhaustive research and test were conducted by measuring the timbre, tone, power and after effects of flatulence into recording devices (i.e. fart into mikes).



COMPARISON STUDIES OF FART “MIKE” TESTING


TONAL CHARACTERISTICS
YOUNG FARTS
POWERFUL SONIC BOOM, TIGHT AND PERCUSSIVE IN SHORT BURSTS.
EXAMPLE: POO..UTT!

OLD FART
LESS POWERFUL BUT CONTROLLED TIME RELEASE ANS SUSTAIN FEATURE, INCOPORATING SUBTLE VIBRATO EFFECTS.
EXAMPLE: POO..OOO..OOO..UUU.. FFF…RRRRR… UTT…FRETTTT…

AMBIENCE
YOUNG FARTS
PERFECT FOR CHECKING GAIN & MID LEVELS ON THE SOUND SYSTEM

OLD FART
LONG BURST FACILITATES DETAILED CHECKING OF REVERB AND DELAY LEVELS IN YOUR SYSTEM.


ENVIROMENTAL ISSUES
YOUNG FARTS
YOUTHFUL SPINCHTER CONTROL ALLOWS NO OR MINIMAL EXPULSION OF MATERIAL DURING SHORT BURST.ODOURS RANGE FROM ODOUR OF FASTFOOD AND LAST NIGHT’S PUB BINGE

OLD FART
PROLONGED BURST AND LACK OF BOWEL MUSCLE CONTROL PERIODICALLY LEADS TO EXTREME CONTAMINATION OF THE SUBJECT UNDERGARMENTS.
ODOURS RANGE FROM LAST NIGHT DURIAN & SAMBAL BELACAN COMBO & WHISKEY MIX.

CONCLUSION
BOUTH YOUNG PUNK'S FART AS WELL AS OLD FARTS CONTRIBUTE IN DIFFIRENCE BUT ESSENTIAL MEANS WHEN TESTINGTHE TONAL CHARACTERISTICS OF MICROPHONES IN THE STUDIO OR ON STAGE.

 
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