Hmmm.... i think... you were trying really hard to get out there into the jazz choice of notes... methinks you should work on the swing rhythmic feel, the dotted rhythm kind. And well.. jazz need not be "out" all the time... I feel you trying too hard. Perhaps some chromatics, a little 2-3 note adventure out of the box, then come back in, will do you good for starters.
Keep it up, and slowly, you'll get there. Rem, SWING IT! 8)