New Original

[evangoh87]

Delectable Fantasies... Enjoy!

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Any comments?

Delectable Fantasies

Verse 1:
So I woke up
From this bed
I didn't remember
I didnt recall, at all

Well my head hurts
And I can't think
straight

Verse 2:
My head is throbbing
from the music
last night
Oh yeah, the party last night.

I have to leave before
she wakes up
to find me here
to find me still here

Chorus :
Girl
You're eyes are closed
yet so silently beautiful
Oh so beautiful

But

It's such a shame
To let this go
locked in embrace
the night before

the night before...
the night before...

Girl
You were so close
But I'll never get to keep you

Well
Time to get dressed
Time to wake up
from this
delectable fantasy
delectable fantasies

don't exist

Verse 3/Outro:
Let me dream on
Let me pretend
I'm not gonna leave
That this is reality

My head is throbbing
from the music
last night
Oh...

 

[valo]

nice work. really like the tune.Did you record that directly into your com?

 

[zullio]

its very good.. i really liked the chorus.

 

[Freeko]

its a pretty decent piece of work. Watch your pitch though!

 

[evangoh87]

yeah... with a computer microphone and my nifty acoustic guitar for everything

my first one that jumps from key to key in the same song, so yeah thanks for all the comments!

 

[RoRK]

It's an ok song and certainly worth your while to work on it more.

My concern is that even Mariah Carey will have problems singing the song. It probably ran over a few octaves more than your voice can handle.

You'll have to decide if you want to be a singer/songwriter which means more into songwriting and less into singing. This song showcases singing a whle lot and like I said, even Mariah Carey will have problems singing it.

I keep thinking of Elton John who isn't the best singer but he managed to write songs that allowed him to sing and to be appreciated as a songwriter and a singer.

I think you will do well to know your limits when it comes to singing and work within those limits when you write your songs so that your song stands out. Right now the singing isn't up to par to the song and guitar playing and the singing sticks out like a sore thumb.

I would also take up vocal lessons cos that will help you write better songs and sing them better.

Keep it up!

Cheers
RoRK

 

[evangoh87]

agreed agreed!

vocal lessons are definitely a great idea... after NS though

thanks for your honest feedback rork!