It's not the sound you want to cut out as much as the vibrations. Even if you can't hear much sound, vibrations (especially low frequencies) will still cause major disturbance to your neighbours.
What I did - my kit is 10", 12", 14", 20" with a 14" snare. I tried looking for individual mesh heads, but did not find any, so I bought the mesh heads that are meant for the Tama Stagestar. They come in a pack of 10", 12", 13", 14" and 18" for around... $90? Can't remember. They also provide a set of rubber silencers for the hi-hats and one crash or ride. I currently only set up one cymbal, so that's enough for me, but if you need more you can get the ones made by HQ Percussion or Vater, they will do the same job.
I considered quite a few options and at first tried the HQ Percussion Soundoff Mutes, but they did not work for me - they cut out the sound without cutting out the vibrations, and your neighbours downstairs will tell you they can't hear anything but they can feel everything. The mutes by HQ Percussion serve the same function as the ones by Vater and Vic Firth (not sure if they sell the VF ones here), so if you see any of these I'd suggest you avoid them. Either that or buy them off me
Mesh heads preserve most of the feel and allow a range of tuning (though minimal compared to Mylar heads), and are loud enough for you to hear but not your neighbours, but they don't produce enough vibrations to disturb your neighbours. I replaced my snare with a practice pad since my snare is 14" and the Stagestar snare is 13". However note that even if you have a 13" snare with a mesh head and the snares are on, the snares will still sound, so throw the snares off or remove them.
If you have an 18" bass (unlikely!) then you're in luck, because the 18" mesh head from the Stagestar pack will solve your bass drum problem. The bass drum is the main producer of low frequency vibrations which is what your neighbours will feel most (think of the bass pulse when standing outside a disco. Something like that). What I did was I bought the Hansenfutz pedal from Nigel at Drums Resources. It goes for $86 and it's a practice pedal. It's very quiet, but you can remove the impact pad and you'll get a nice low volume
thwack sound. A standard bass drum pedal will produce a lot of power, so anything requiring the use of the pedal mechanism as a substitute (bass drum practice pads, for instance) will still transmit vibrations even if they don't make much noise.
Hope this helps, and your mileage may vary. It's never cheap playing drums in an apartment, but this is as cheap as it got for me - mesh heads plus a Futz, running me well under $200 total. Practically all other options didn't solve the problem or were out of my $$ range.