Manusia Sama (Original Song) by Mamat

[Quietus]

Link: YouTube - Manusia Sama (Original Song) by Mamat

Hi everyone! Here's my first original song. It's a malay song. Voice, lyrics and guitar are all done by me. This is my first composition, my first time recording, my first time singing, my first time uploading video to youtube and I'm still a beginner to guitar playing. Basically, I'm a first timer in everything. Haha. So, any constructive comments is very much appreciated.

I forced two of my friends to listen to it first and here's what they feel about it:

Hafiz: "The starting is a bit catchy. 1st verse is to attract people to listen. I think it'd be better if you could gather a few people to sing together. The chorus is too short though. But I still find it the best part ar. It's fun to sing along. I'll give it a 3/5. Decent job. Keep it up."

Nilah: "The later part of the song, like after one chorus and a stanza, maybe you should change the pace because it got kinda draggy abit. The lyrics is nice and truthful."

Now, I hope to hear more comments from you guys.

Thanks for viewing.

 

[dir]

I find your singing quite monotonous. Try some range and pitching a bit. Also you need to have a bit more clarity when singing, since I couldn't make out a lot of the words, thankfully there's lyrics. Song could use a bit more of a hook to it though. It sounds like you're just reading poetry to an accompanying guitar. I have to applaud the effort.

Great lyrics though, wish I could write something beautiful like that in malay.

 

[Quietus]

Thanks dir! What do you mean by "the song could use a bit more of a hook to it."? Care to explain? I'm looking to improve on this. But, I really appreciate your comment. I'll take note everything you say.

 

[dir]

A hook basically is what pop songs are made of. Something that differentiates a song from the others, and makes it stand out immediately. It's something that attracts someone to listen to the song in the first place. Basically a hook is something that's catchy. Could be a guitar lick, or how you sing a certain part of a song, or just a simple melody.

 

[Quietus]

Oh! Okay2..Thank you, dir!