Dear Nicole Scherzinger,
This is a petition to ask you to please reconsider your decision and come to Singapore to host F1 Rocks.
Yes, I understand that you may not want to be in the same universe as that race rat fink Lewis Hamilton, after he so mercilessly and unnecessarily dumped you like a sack of unwanted tomatoes that have been sitting in the sun and raising a bit of a stink, however, here’s the deal: WE NEED YOU.
We do, really, we do. You’ve been here a few times, you’re practically one of us. We need someone like you to help enliven our otherwise dull daily existence. (Some of us are accountants, so you know how what we’re up against.) Without your charm, your smile, your bodacious physique, we’ve now got nothing to look forward to.
(Well, there’s Gwen but she’s already hooked up with two kids; and Beyonce is well, Beyonce.)
Years ago you and the rest of the Pussycat Dollslovefirst came to our shores and showed us that there was light at the end of the tunnel, salvation was a possibility. And when you and your cohorts once again trooped onto Fort Canning Park last year, we knew we could be saved if we believed.
But hey, don’t take our word for it. Here’s what Paul Morrison, the Big Guy at All The Worlds, the Man with the Plan for F1 Rocks had to say:
“It’s a bummer, no doubt. We are gutted. Nicole is a really, really hardworking and diligent artiste.”
Did you read that? Gutted, he said. Do you know what it takes to make a man of Paul’s calibre gutted? It’s not like how the French were “a bit upset” at the Germans invading their country in 1940. Or how the English were “slightly put out” when the Americans kicked them back to England in 1776.
This is… from the heart.love (Or the gut, ha ha, LMAO.)
Forget the race rat fink. There are plenty of fish in the sea – and 19 more on the starting grid.love
We need you, Singapore needs you – the accountants need you.
Besides, you can use to air time to get back at that race rat fink by getting all nice and pally with say, Mark Webber or Sebastien Vettel. Yes, it may seem petty, immature and even childish, but it sure will be sweet.
Help us, Nicole Scherzinger, you’re our only hope.
XOXO,
Your one true fan who still hasn’t washed his right hand after he shook hands with you last year.
More...
This is a petition to ask you to please reconsider your decision and come to Singapore to host F1 Rocks.
Yes, I understand that you may not want to be in the same universe as that race rat fink Lewis Hamilton, after he so mercilessly and unnecessarily dumped you like a sack of unwanted tomatoes that have been sitting in the sun and raising a bit of a stink, however, here’s the deal: WE NEED YOU.
We do, really, we do. You’ve been here a few times, you’re practically one of us. We need someone like you to help enliven our otherwise dull daily existence. (Some of us are accountants, so you know how what we’re up against.) Without your charm, your smile, your bodacious physique, we’ve now got nothing to look forward to.
(Well, there’s Gwen but she’s already hooked up with two kids; and Beyonce is well, Beyonce.)
Years ago you and the rest of the Pussycat Dollslovefirst came to our shores and showed us that there was light at the end of the tunnel, salvation was a possibility. And when you and your cohorts once again trooped onto Fort Canning Park last year, we knew we could be saved if we believed.
But hey, don’t take our word for it. Here’s what Paul Morrison, the Big Guy at All The Worlds, the Man with the Plan for F1 Rocks had to say:
“It’s a bummer, no doubt. We are gutted. Nicole is a really, really hardworking and diligent artiste.”
Did you read that? Gutted, he said. Do you know what it takes to make a man of Paul’s calibre gutted? It’s not like how the French were “a bit upset” at the Germans invading their country in 1940. Or how the English were “slightly put out” when the Americans kicked them back to England in 1776.
This is… from the heart.love (Or the gut, ha ha, LMAO.)
Forget the race rat fink. There are plenty of fish in the sea – and 19 more on the starting grid.love
We need you, Singapore needs you – the accountants need you.
Besides, you can use to air time to get back at that race rat fink by getting all nice and pally with say, Mark Webber or Sebastien Vettel. Yes, it may seem petty, immature and even childish, but it sure will be sweet.
Help us, Nicole Scherzinger, you’re our only hope.
XOXO,
Your one true fan who still hasn’t washed his right hand after he shook hands with you last year.
More...
Personally, I'm not a fan. They're human too, just like you and I - only difference is they're humans with a million bucks more in their bank account than you and I.
