A true and funny tale

MichaelAngelo

New member
I have a lazer gun
by ebliz

almost all recuits had to go for their field camps and learn about attacking enemies with flanking formations and such. these camps go on for days and sometimes actually cause recruits to do stupid things due to boredom. i was such a recruit.

a few days into the camp, we had to prowl around the jungle and wait for enemy fire so we could take cover, strategise and counter attack back. that mission this other recruit and i were really lucky, being chosen to fall back and give cover fire while the rest had to do some flanking nonsense and kill the enemy.

we were given blanks, so we had to conserve our firing. but honestly 1 mag is never enough. pretty soon, we all ran out of blank ammo.

recruit:"sergeant, no more ammo, how?"
sergeant:"use ur mouth lah u bloody kuteh!"
recruit:"yes sergeant, bang bang bang"

well, we mocked the sounds of guns firing and waited for the rest to finish the flanking. i guess the tekong heat+boredom+proning on grass+sergeant not around got to me and i went "ziu ziu ziu!" like the sound of lazers in one of those sci fi shows. my fellow recruit thought that it was rather funny, thus adding fuel to my act of stupidity. with the lack of disciplinary figures around, i became bolder, therefore louder. never did i expect my platoon commander to be behind me.

me:"ZIU!ZIU!ZIU!"
platoon commander:"what the fuck are u doing?!"
me:"erm..."
platoon commander:"u were told to make the sounds of gun fire! wat were u doing?!"
me:"erm sir, my gun can shoot lazer."

and that was it. i had the best fucking ever. i wonder what causes recuits to excuse brain.

Article taken from:
http://singaporearmystories.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-have-lazer-gun.html
 
MichaelAngelo said:
I have a lazer gun
by ebliz

almost all recuits had to go for their field camps and learn about attacking enemies with flanking formations and such. these camps go on for days and sometimes actually cause recruits to do stupid things due to boredom. i was such a recruit.

a few days into the camp, we had to prowl around the jungle and wait for enemy fire so we could take cover, strategise and counter attack back. that mission this other recruit and i were really lucky, being chosen to fall back and give cover fire while the rest had to do some flanking nonsense and kill the enemy.

we were given blanks, so we had to conserve our firing. but honestly 1 mag is never enough. pretty soon, we all ran out of blank ammo.

recruit:"sergeant, no more ammo, how?"
sergeant:"use ur mouth lah u bloody kuteh!"
recruit:"yes sergeant, bang bang bang"

well, we mocked the sounds of guns firing and waited for the rest to finish the flanking. i guess the tekong heat+boredom+proning on grass+sergeant not around got to me and i went "ziu ziu ziu!" like the sound of lazers in one of those sci fi shows. my fellow recruit thought that it was rather funny, thus adding fuel to my act of stupidity. with the lack of disciplinary figures around, i became bolder, therefore louder. never did i expect my platoon commander to be behind me.

me:"ZIU!ZIU!ZIU!"
platoon commander:"what the xxxx are u doing?!"
me:"erm..."
platoon commander:"u were told to make the sounds of gun fire! wat were u doing?!"
me:"erm sir, my gun can shoot lazer."

and that was it. i had the best xxxxing ever. i wonder what causes recuits to excuse brain.

Article taken from:
http://singaporearmystories.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-have-lazer-gun.html


:smt072 :smt072 :smt072
haha damn funny...the guy sure kena screwed....
thanks for sharing made my day
:smt023
 
Stupid platoon commander: WTF is tht?
Stupid recruit: uhh..
Stupid platoon commander: U were supposed to make the sounds of a combat knife!
Stupid recruit: *VOOM VOOM* Bt sir..Lightsabre bttr. Can slash frm far. Knife too short. I scared i die b4 i kill.
 
Then you thrust your palm in his direction and he flies backword.

SIR! THIS IS CALLED THE FORCE, SIR!
 
large lake to jump over.

platoon commander: we have to wade across, so we dont alert the enemies.
idiot private: sir i got the force, i can just jump over
platoon commander: NO!!!u idiot!!!



BIG SPLASH
 
MichaelAngelo said:
I have a lazer gun
by ebliz

almost all recuits had to go for their field camps and learn about attacking enemies with flanking formations and such. these camps go on for days and sometimes actually cause recruits to do stupid things due to boredom. i was such a recruit.

a few days into the camp, we had to prowl around the jungle and wait for enemy fire so we could take cover, strategise and counter attack back. that mission this other recruit and i were really lucky, being chosen to fall back and give cover fire while the rest had to do some flanking nonsense and kill the enemy.

we were given blanks, so we had to conserve our firing. but honestly 1 mag is never enough. pretty soon, we all ran out of blank ammo.

recruit:"sergeant, no more ammo, how?"
sergeant:"use ur mouth lah u bloody kuteh!"
recruit:"yes sergeant, bang bang bang"

well, we mocked the sounds of guns firing and waited for the rest to finish the flanking. i guess the tekong heat+boredom+proning on grass+sergeant not around got to me and i went "ziu ziu ziu!" like the sound of lazers in one of those sci fi shows. my fellow recruit thought that it was rather funny, thus adding fuel to my act of stupidity. with the lack of disciplinary figures around, i became bolder, therefore louder. never did i expect my platoon commander to be behind me.

me:"ZIU!ZIU!ZIU!"
platoon commander:"what the xxxx are u doing?!"
me:"erm..."
platoon commander:"u were told to make the sounds of gun fire! wat were u doing?!"
me:"erm sir, my gun can shoot lazer."

and that was it. i had the best xxxxing ever. i wonder what causes recuits to excuse brain.

Article taken from:
http://singaporearmystories.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-have-lazer-gun.html

Haha awesome.
 
LOL. my cousins have told me some funny army stories but this guy is good. the one I really love that my cousin told me was when this guy failed to clean and keep his gun properly or something like that. not too clear on the 'crime' committed. Anyway the platoon commander made the guy strip down to boxers, spike his hair a la Astro Boy style, and run around the parade square shouting, "I'm Astro Boy! Whee!" for like half an hour.
 
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