Strange and boring and scary new song

[Paynk]

'And the kid just wants attention ok' at www.myspace.com/pplod.

First digital song I completed, not very sophisticated. And doesn't even sound complete lol, like all the rest. Anyone good with gadgets and likes weird stuffs like this please PM me if interested in collaboration! Some potential lobangs lying around.


AND THE KID JUST WANTS ATTENTION OK

got our hearts
strung on strings of flame
won't you just play with me
and
let her down for once
or twice

washed my hands in a river
and i said to myself
no this couldn't be
death
it could have been worse
it could have been worse


it's gone forever
it's gone forever
our storms of feelings
now all that's left are trees
and me
it's gone forever
it's gone for good
our plastic sceneries
half goes to you, half goes to me

 

[evident]

i get the concept of the song but you probably would need to rearrange, remix and remaster the whole thing. the idea is there but frankly, it's not well executed. the arrangement is very sparse, unless you're going for a minimilistic approach if not use more pads to make it fuller and bigger and more dreamy. the mix isn't that well done also. vocals could use some tuning too.

just my 2.14 cents.

 

[hohoholalala]

I personally really like this. Reminds me a lot of lamb and bjork. I would say tho to try and expand the soundstage. Seeing as how you seem to be particularly fond of glitchy effects, a bit of rhythm randomization or filter automation could really fill up the soundstage while maintaining that "out-there" feel which i think you're going for.
Good luck and keep writing/singing!