OM : Dreams To Death

[DoubleBlade]

I hope this song has that essence of death in it...

Comments please


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/doubleblademusic.htm

 

[dhalif]

umm how to say ah.. yeah you got that death thing going on la.. and im in no position to comment on the composition bit because it's ur song.. it's your choice.. im just gonna say that the playing is like unstable.. sort of like.. you're unsure of what ur playing.. try to be more fluid.. and practice over and over again man before recording.... \m/

 

[DoubleBlade]

thanks dhalif

 

[ChanMin]

well it actually sounded pretty interesting... kinda like sumthing from lemony snickets - a chain of unfortunate events. creepy stuff la..

and yah dhaliff hit it spot on about the fluidity of your playing.
keep practising.. honestly i think hear some improvement

 

[DoubleBlade]

hey chanmin which area needs to be improved on? care to elaborate pls?

Basically a brief summary of this song would be....

this guy is on his death bed and before he dies , he dreams of all the stuff that happened in his life and while he's in the midst of dreaming , death just suddenly consumes him....

 

[ChanMin]

erm... well perspective has it that i didnt see any of that...
more just like a trippy movie intro.. like edward scissors hands or sumthing ...

the playing basically sounds "un refined" something which only practise can clean up i guess... but as i said i hear improvement compared to your previous jaychou or arabian song

 

[DoubleBlade]

whew!!!! i thought i made the same old mistakes over again....

thanks Chanmin 8)

 

[duskalways]

for someone who has learnt the piano for 2yrs, you are impressive. on your "death throes" composition, i do pick up the essence of unsettling feelings. it might be nice if they could build up or climax to somewhere. your inverted turns coupled with appogiaturas (eh.. the fast tiny notes), sounds haphazard. you ended on a dramatic sfz (sforzando), indicating perhaps the subject indeed died a sudden death!
as dhalif and chanmin commented, there were pauses which only practice could refine. many of us take years to sound polished! :wink:

 

[DoubleBlade]

your inverted turns coupled with appogiaturas (eh.. the fast tiny notes), sounds haphazard.

Sorry but I did not get what you meant by this?

 

[DoubleBlade]

it might be nice if they could build up or climax to somewhere.

I tend to associate building up of a climax with speed and hard dynamics....

I guess that's the only kind of climax I know of....

 

[duskalways]

your inverted turns coupled with appogiaturas (eh.. the fast tiny notes), sounds haphazard.

Sorry but I did not get what you meant by this?

00.08, 1.07, 1.42, 2.39 these fast cluster of notes sound harrassed and haphazardly executed. it puts the listener on edge, wondering if you will hit or miss. a little untidy.
when performing in public in future (which i am sure you will), remember that insecure notes comes out rather distinctly to the audience. you are an earnest learner. i am sure you will do well. just don't rush the process.

 

[DoubleBlade]

Actually i wanted to create a sense of confusion in certain parts of my song as when people are dreaming usually a lot of thoughts come to their mind and i'm sure throughts running thru our head don't come in single file righT?

oh well i guess i might have gone a little bit overboard creating in that sense of confusion....

i dun acknowledge the fact when people say i'm talented (including my teacher) but mainly due to the fact that i started learning piano at an age whereby i already had a matured mind which in return enabled me to absorb info faster...

besides i've heard of adults with only 2 years of playing experience and they're already playing Chopin's Waltz.... 8O


but hey...Thanks Duskalways!!!!

i really appreciate your comments

 

[ChanMin]

8O

 

[duskalways]

dear doubleblade, i will try answer your other question later. i want to be constructive in my comments. but at this point, after looking at ChanMin's expression 8O i cannot help laughing aloud!! hahaha

 

[DoubleBlade]

8O

Concerning which part Chanmin????

 

[duskalways]

:smt082 probably wat you just wrote, not wat you played!! i wouldn't want to be in your head when you are dreaming... :smt120

 

[duskalways]

I tend to associate building up of a climax with speed and hard dynamics....

00.45 to 1.00 sounded like you were building up the theme to get somewhere, and then it culminated at exactly where you came from, which sounded like you were back at square 1, but hey, you did explained just now that when people dream, their thoughts don't come in single file!? :smt017
it happened again from 1.33 and from 2.18 and 2.58. it did lead to your block chords which is probably your theme. i thought it might have been more interesting if it led to somewhere else, as in allowing your theme to develop and climax and then resolved.

 

[dhalif]

count mine also...

8O

 

[ChanMin]

Actually i wanted to create a sense of confusion in certain parts of my song as when people are dreaming usually a lot of thoughts come to their mind and i'm sure throughts running thru our head don't come in single file righT?


--- i didnt sense any confusion... only that your playing was fluid enough... ---

oh well i guess i might have gone a little bit overboard creating in that sense of confusion....

--- hahahaAhAHa yah either that or u need to practise more ---

i dun acknowledge the fact when people say i'm talented (including my teacher) but mainly due to the fact that i started learning piano at an age whereby i already had a matured mind which in return enabled me to absorb info faster...

--- i just found this talented thing abit funny... and DIY ego inflating. ---

 

[DoubleBlade]

well my purpose of saying my DIY ego inflating thingy has nothing to do with me boasting because that's what i actually feel lah...although it may sound a bit egoistic...

ask a kiddo to practice on his piano and he'll be thinking of when's the next time he'll be going to the playground...