Enrolling yourself into a school or getting an Official grading cert Does not Necessarily Eliminate the problem called time Keeping.
Different Students take on Different approaches to learning this art. If you have to Use Imagination to excel, Do it. Trust me, You're Not Crazy, Ur just becoming special. It's part of a Unique Musicians Package And that's Good. I once had an Autistic student and it took me 2 yrs to get his basic understanding for tempo rite, by finding out from his family what other skills he had and applying his "Sketching" interest to his Drum Set. (Yes, Sketching - Drawing Stuff. it was an interesting and rewarding experience because im kinda an Artist myself.)
Other than Guidance, the best way to learn is Also through Self Experience.
Get a Metronome, Train your discipline, Start at slow Tempos, Practice Consistency and the Feel will come grooving into you real soon.
Through that practice, Through that Frustrating era, you will Break it Down, Learn, Listen, Realize, Simplify, Understand, Apply, Modify, Experience it all again, and finally........ teach.
"Be Creative. Think outta the drums." - Jiv