Yep, you've heard from your fellow SOFTies, blurred is right, get yourself a metronome. It is as essential to you as a drummer as a pair of sticks are. Then work on your rudiments, try to get them sounding as clean as possible. Don't worry about speed yet. Speed comes with control, if you can make your strokes sound really clean, you'll gradually be able to add speed to it while still having your strokes defined and pronounced. It is a common mistake to want to be able to go blazing around on the drumset, but no, speed has to be built up, it is a by-product of control.
Here are some great resources for rudiments
www.vicfirth.com
Regarding your drumset purchase, it really depends on your budget. Personally I started off on a practice pad, cost me around 40 dollars with a pair of vicfirth sticks and a exercise book. I worked on it for a month or two before I got my Pearl Forum drumkit. The rudiments helped me a lot and I swear by it, its amazing how much you can grasp just by hitting a rubber pad to the sound of a constant beep.
If your budget permits you ($1k to $2k+), buy a mid-level drumkit, if not, settle for something lesser like the Pearl RT, Forum, Tama Stagestar, etc. Try to look out for second hand deals too. Remember to factor in the cost of budget cymbal packs (Sabian B8, B8Pros, XS20) as those cymbals that come with "starter" drumkits are HORRIBLE. :lol: